Yes… I’m “up there”…

Like so many of you, a lot of changes have occurred in my life recently.  Retirement (and the “fixed income” that comes with it).  Changing careers (from employee to freelance sales/business consulting).  Sickness and death among too many friends and family members.  I even attended my 50-year high school class reunion.  Although it’s a very humdrum topic, at my age, it’s hard not to think about my age. 

This recent post on Facebook caught my attention – did you see it?  At first I cringed at the title; but after reading it through, I realized it’s true! 

They call us ”The Elderly”

·         We were born in the 40-50-60’s.

·         We grew up in the 50-60-70's.

·         We studied in the 60-70-80's.

·         We were dating in the 70-80-90's.

·         We got married and discovered the world in the 70-80-90's.

·         We ventured into the 80-90’s.

·         We stabilized in the 2000’s.

·         We got wiser in the 2010’s.

·         And we are going firmly through and beyond 2020’s.

·         Turns out we've lived through EIGHT different decades...

·         TWO different centuries...

·         We have gone from the telephone with an operator for long-distance calls to video calls to anywhere in the world.

·         We have gone from slides to YouTube, from vinyl records to online music, from handwritten letters to email and WhatsApp.

·         From live matches on the radio, to black and white TV, color TV and then to 3D HD TV.

·         We went to the Video store and now we watch Netflix.

·         We got to know the first computers, punch cards, floppy disks and now we have gigabytes and megabytes on our smartphones.

·         We wore shorts throughout our childhood and then long trousers, Oxfords, flares, shell suits & blue jeans.

·         We dodged infantile paralysis, meningitis, polio, tuberculosis, swine flu and now COVID-19.

·         We rode skates, tricycles, bicycles, mopeds, gas cars, diesel trucks and now we drive hybrids or electric.

·         They could describe us as “exennials”; people who were born in that world of the fifties, who had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood.

·         Our generation has literally lived through and witnessed more than any other in every dimension of life.

·         It is our generation that has literally adapted to “CHANGE”.

Unknown Sage 

An “analog childhood and a digital adulthood…”  I love that phrase!

One of my friends and mentors said he admired that I was “still in play”.  That’s a wonderful compliment!  It reminded me of this little ditty from our favorite, Unknown sage: 

It’s not how old you are, but how you are old. 

So yes, I’m “up there” in age during an age when being “up there” has different levels of respect (or disrespect) all depending.  Unfortunately, in Corporate America today ageism is alive and well.  Yes, we are going to place a huge burden on social security and Medicare.  To those younger than us we say, “get over it”.  Re-read the list above about our generation and I think you’ll agree, we’ve earned it. 

Someday you too may be lucky enough to be called “elderly”.  When that day comes, those of us left standing will welcome you new “Oldtimers”.  Ah yes, Oldtimers… Much has been said about Oldtimers.  Richard J. Needham put it this way: 

It’s easier to have the vigor of youth when you’re old than the wisdom of age when you’re young. 

I am certainly trying to maintain said vigor. 

So here’s to being “up there”.  The good news is we’re saving room at the top for you. 

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

High School Sweethearts…

Fall; Autumn; October … I love this time of the year.  I love the colors and smells of October.  October reminds me of high school; football; dating.  Do you remember your first high school sweetheart? 

High school is a very special and memorable time for teenagers; it certainly was for me.  (Still is.)  It was a different time; an innocent time.  I always enjoyed the month of October when I was in high school – Homecoming; Halloween; dating; parties (most chaperoned, a few not). 

Fifty three years ago, this very time of the year, I went to a party at Glenn Vician parents’ house.  It was at that party where I hung out with the prettiest girl in my high school.  It was there that I asked her out on a first date.  I guess both events went well enough because here we are fifty three years later we are still together.  I’m still awe-struck by the glow of her beauty.

I hope you enjoy this opening to Chapter XII True North of my book, The Peace & Power of a Positive Perspective © as much I enjoyed writing it and as much as I still enjoy re-reading it every October: 

Dedicated to… a crisp night in October; with a slight breeze blowing through bare trees – waiting for the coming winter.   Close your eyes.  Can you smell remnants of autumn leaves burning? 

To winning the homecoming football game.  To being carefree. To a Saturday night party at the teenager’s house whose parents are away.  Can you hear the kids having fun in the kitchen; the basement; and the backyard, all to the beat of the Rolling Stones? 

To couches, blue jeans and sweaters.  To the floor lamp reflecting on her blond hair making it shimmer with silvery streaks of light.  To the nervous small talk of a teenage boy in the presence of a varsity Pom-Pom Team member.  To the patience of the teenage girl sitting on the couch with the captain of the varsity basketball team.  Can you remember when you could actually hear your heart throbbing? 

To throw pillows, which come in handy when the small talk runs out – what else can a young boy do?  And to playful pillow fights; which lead to gentle wrestling and ultimately to that first kiss. Remember how delicate she felt in your arms – the hint of her perfume – the taste of her lips? 

To first dates – dinner and a movie.  To the movie Catch 22 and the Oriental Theatre in downtown Chicago.  To dating the prettiest girl in your high school; to falling in love; to asking her father’s permission for her hand in marriage.  Were you ever so nervous? 

To the tears welling up in my eyes even as I write this short memoire.  To all those emotions; all the happiness; all those hopes and all those dreams; some fulfilled, some yet to be; and all that I can remember today as if it just happened yesterday – that I will remember every day, as long as I live.  How can someone be so lucky? 

To 1970 - and that Saturday night in October in Elmhurst where I kissed Debbie for the very first time.  And to the friend’s house whose parents were out – to their couch, their floor lamp, to their throw pillows; and to the Rolling Stones music.  Can you imagine being so young, so infatuated, and so in love? 

I still am. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective. 

Giving our best…

Football is my favorite sport.  A bit ironic I suppose, because football is the epitome of a time in my life that I did not give my best.  Actually, it was worse than that.  It was the one time in all my competitive pursuits (athletics or in business) that I quit.  I’ve lost many times; won my share too.  Quit?  Once.

I quit my high school football team two weeks into the start of my junior year season.  It was the only time in my life that my Mom told me I disappointed her.  I can remember going into the head coach’s office to quit as if it was yesterday.  Totally ironic, because after being a starter and co-captain my freshman and sophomore years, I was not even planning to play my junior year.  I planned to focus on basketball. 

Over the summer the coach called and asked me to reconsider.  I agreed, but when I showed up I wasn’t prepared to give my best.  He and his coaches weren’t prepared to coach me up either.  At the age of sixteen, I decided that quitting was my only escape.  I’ve regretted it to this day.  It’s not the not-playing that I regret; it’s the not giving my best.

I bet there have been special coaches and mentors who have had a positive impact on your life.  Coaches come in all shapes and sizes and use a wide variety of styles and techniques.  Some coaches resonate with us; others don’t. 

Here’s a 5+ minute movie clip about high school, an underdog team, and their coach’s expectation about giving one's best: Facing the Giants

Probably not a technique that transfers into the business world today - but the message does, true?  Yes, the sporting world is different than the business world.  Nonetheless, we don’t have to go it alone.  Even the best-of-the-best have coaches.

In business, our favorite, Unknown Sage offers this:

Common misconceptions about coaching in the marketplace: 

“Coaching is primarily for correcting behavior” - If we only coach people when they do something wrong, we have missed the point.  It’s about building not fixing. 

“Coaching requires giving up power and control” – The manager relies more on influence. The person is still accountable. 

“Coaching takes too much time” – Coaching takes too much time if you don’t do enough of it and you don’t do it correctly.

“Coaching is soft stuff” – The manager who avoids soft stuff usually does so because it is so hard.  The work is easy; people are difficult. 

“Coaching is laissez-faire management” – Freedom in the workplace, actually just about anywhere, is rooted in strict discipline. 

“Coaching is simply being a good cheerleader” – A good manager has the courage and inner strength when needed to tell people the truth. 

“Coaching is like therapy” – To be a good manager and coach one does need a basic understanding of human behavior and motivation, but therapy has no place in your relationship with the people you are leading.

Coaches enjoy occasional accolades, too.  The best I ever heard was a tribute to Bum Phillips, former head coach of the then, Houston Oilers.  It was once said of Bum:

He could take his and beat yours - and then he could take yours and beat his. 

As a coach, he was able to get his players to give their best; they had no quit.  Imagine – what could we accomplish if we committed to giving our best? 

GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

“D” words…

I was chatting with a friend of mine a recently.  He’s a Vice President of Sales at Oracle Corporation.  Oracle, like many technology companies, found themselves in an “over-hired” position earlier this year and went through a “reduction in force”.  Now, he’s working to restore morale.  It’s a difficult job: 

As one IT Professional put it; “We've been reorganized, restructured, re-engineered, right-sized, down-sized, up-sized, TQM'ed, and MBO'ed, and if I hear the word empowered once more, I swear I'm gonna scream!" 

Geoffrey James 

Maybe his company referred to it as downsizing; in the sales profession it’s called “cutting heads”.  Too morbid?  (Not for those fired with rent coming due.)  My friend’s unit was not spared; over a dozen heads.  He said they were lucky; it could have been worse. (Probably not for the departed.) 

Thankfully, this wasn’t the main topic of our conversation; we were at the other end of the head count.  We discussed his interaction with two reps that had just completed a successful sales year.  They don’t report to my friend, but they approached him in the office because he is the only sales executive still coming into the office.  They wanted to express their displeasure. 

There he was, shortly after cutting heads and these two asked if they could “speak openly” with him.  They had achieved quota but didn’t receive a pay raise as in the previous years.  They felt disrespected.  (Ah yes, there’s a fashionable “D” word.) 

Well, from these sales reps’ perspective, they were in a job; exceeded quota; and therefore deserved a raise.  Ah, “deserve” another popular “D” word.  Even though the company had missed their revenue target; even though the company had just gone through a downsizing; even though this VP had just lost several sales reps from his group; these two felt disrespected and deserved more.  (Reminds me of the movie Unforgiven and Clint Eastwood’s line, “… deserves got nothin’ to do with it…”) 

He listened patiently and they vented for 30 minutes.  He didn’t try to cut them off.  He could have, but he didn’t.  Perhaps he employed John L. Beckley’s leadership advice: 

Leadership strategy: 

When you are presenting an idea and are outlining its benefits, if the person stops you and brings up an argument or shows resistance, let it ride.  Don't respond for a moment.  And even then, don’t respond directly. 

Too many people seem to be in a too big a hurry to answer questions and overcome resistances.  Instead of making a case, we shift our focus and lose momentum by directly answering objections.  We forget that we are there to give a coherent, complete presentation. 

But maybe if we weren't in such hurry to answer the questions, our audience would find that the full presentation of facts covers the objections and the question would not come up again. 

Of course, a time comes when you must handle the resistance, and handle it once and for all.  But that time is always the second time, never the first. 

Leadership entails lots of… well… another “D” word… dimensions.  One minute, you’re having the “tough conversation” with those who have to be fired.  The next, you’re patiently listening to, and encouraging those who you’re wanting to stay; trying to motivate; relying on to continue their success so more heads won’t be cut.

In a leadership career, dimensions are a necessity for success.  My friend is… my favorite “D” word… darn good at it. 

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.