Moms are special…

My Mom was special - I bet your Mom is (or was) special, too.  Sunday May 12^th is Mother’s Day.  In mind; in memory; or in person; be sure to make it a special day for your Mom.  Sending flowers is not enough.  Make her the center of your attention, even if only for one day.

My wife is a special Mom.  She continues to lovingly mother our grown boys and our grandchildren even while their father worries, “How do I get all of these kids off the payroll?”  But I digress.  She keeps our entire, extended family together. 

Our Moms have a special sense of humor: 

A wife invited some people to dinner.  At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”  I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.  “Just say what you hear Mommy say”, the wife answered.  The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?” 

Unknown Sage                                

Our Moms are special teachers.  Remember the life-long lessons you learned from your Mother?  Back to our Unknown Sage: 

What my Mother taught me: 

My Mother taught me logic;

“Because I said so, that's why.”

My Mother taught me irony;

“Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about.”

My Mother taught me about the science of osmosis:

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" 

Even Bill Gates has a take (including Mom and Dad in his reference to his parents - and ours): 

Excerpt from Bill Gates' speech to Mount Whitney High School, Visalia, CA: 

Rule 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't

as boring as they are now.  They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.  So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Our Moms have a special and immeasurable reservoir of power, true?  My Mom did.  She was stricken with cancer when I was 6 years old.  In fact, I can not remember a time when she was not ill.  The last 15 years of her life were spent undergoing continuous treatments: 

I watched my Mom’s great power, which she needed in order to deal with a new cancer treatment in the late 1960’s that was so unimaginably harsh – that the administration of this treatment was solely based on the primitive science of trial and error – where the doctors’ routine consisted of observing how much of a dose could she tolerate without dying from the treatment. 

It was an experimental treatment back then; offered only as a last resort for terminally ill cancer patients. This wasn’t a cancer cure; just a radical option to extend one’s life another year or two.  It was due to her staying power (and that of many other patients like her) before she finally succumbed in 1974, that has helped pave the way to the development of the commonly used, life-saving cancer treatment we all know today as chemotherapy. 

How many special Moms have died fighting terrible diseases (and brutal treatments) so the rest of us can benefit from the exaggerated term, “modern medicine”? 

Mother’s Day - make it special for your Mom if she’s living; make it special for you through your memories of your Mom if she’s not. 

GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Mentor anyone?

Do you think top producers should have a mentor?  After all, they’re already “killin’ it”.  They’re probably being asked by their manager to share their expertise; teach the others how to do it; set the pace; true?  If everything is going so well, why would a rain maker of all people need a mentor? 

Well, even Jack Nicklaus, arguably the greatest golfer of all time, didn’t want to be left alone.  The same applies to Tiger Woods and literally every other professional on tour.  If it’s good for them, shouldn’t it be good for us?

As a top sales rep, I used to take my stress, worry, and insecurity out on my wife (and my dog).  They were both happy when I finally connected with a mentor (I actually had two).  Having been on “both sides of the fence”, I’ve developed these opinions about top performers, especially in sales: 

·         We don’t want to be “trained”

·         We don’t want to be “managed”

·         Yet, we don’t want to be left alone 

Perhaps because I was a “hunter” I’m frequently approached by other hunters.  Our discussion usually begins with the question, “What would Gary do?”  I don’t know, maybe they think I’m an “expert”.  Lawrence Peter and I have our doubts: 

Make three correct guesses consecutively, and you will establish a reputation as an expert. 

Recently, a friend, top producer, and mentee shared with others that I was definitely an expert.  I chuckled: 

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. 

Niels Bohn 

That’s me alright, “…made all the mistakes which can be made…”.  Nonetheless, I’ve enjoyed working with successful quota carriers over the years. No matter their age, I can relate. Quota (and mistakes) spans generations. 

This person was the third, #1 sales rep from his respective company that I met with recently.  They were all unsettled.  I don’t know why the sales profession creates so much discontent among high performers.  In other professions, success and contentment seems more common.  In his book, Drive © Harry F. Harlow wrote: 

The performance of the task provided intrinsic reward…  The joy of the task was its own reward. 

Top sales people don’t seem to easily find this joy.  The best-of-the-best are frequently labeled with a reputation that can become burdensome - extroverted, natural born, driven, lone wolf.  

Why would such a hunter seek a mentor?  In my experience, it’s that unsettled feeling.  They have a new manager; their territory was cut; their comp plan was changed; their success is no longer fulfilling; they fear their ability to continue it; they’re being lured by a higher commission plan; they feel if they don’t change jobs (or worse, take a promotion to management) it will somehow be held against them; their family relationships are strained.  

I can remember meeting with the #1 sales rep at Salesforce.com a month after he had received his first, seven figure, W-2!  He asked, “Gary, is that all there is?”  Unsettled. 

Are you a discontented, top performer?  

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens most of us.  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?”

Nelson Mandela 

If you’re feeling unsettled it’s OK; you’re not alone.  You’re likely blessed with power, “beyond measure”!  Just ask your mentor.  

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

April 20, 1999 never forgotten…

 

Twenty-five years ago today, my hometown experienced the terror that two teenagers, feeling a sense of desperation and isolation, can bring to their high school, their community and our nation.  It was considered a rare event back then – unfortunately, hunting our school children has become an almost daily event now:

Life is hard and can often seem hopeless for many young people: 

Giving up on somebody takes nothing.  Helping them change takes a tremendous amount of time, energy, and love.  In the end, it’s worth it. 

Urban Meyer 

If you have a son or daughter; grandchildren; nieces or nephews; or neighborhood kids; reach out to them today.  Tell them today that you love them and will support them as they try to make their way in the world.  If they’re struggling to make ends meet – give them a few bucks, reassure them.  Today, help them feel they belong.  Give them hope. 

Let’s address our society’s violence.  Let’s use our power of compassion to increase the sunlight for those heading towards darkness: 

It takes the sun to create a shadow – accept that the dark and the light live side by side in all of us. 

Chellie Campbell 

It’s not just a high school in the town of Littleton, Colorado where I live - We are all Columbine: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9Seqhcq23M 

May you feel peace - and share the power of peace with others - today - especially today - and then every day thereafter! 

GAP

Why not?

In her commencement address thirteen years ago this season Majora Carter (an American urban revitalization strategist and public radio host from New York City) said to the graduating class of Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois: 

You guys will rock! 

It was an interesting dichotomy… An urban revitalization strategist rocking in farm country.  You can’t get much more rural than Galesburg.  Unless you take into account the “greater Galesburg metropolitan area” that includes, East Galesburg; Wataga; Altona; Galva; and the like. 

Galesburg, home to many famous people and a few less-than-remembered events is where I graduated from the college of “hard Knox”.  In those days, I loved the feel of being out in the country.  Growing up in a Chicago suburb, I knew the odds were high that I would live the majority of my adult life in or near a city.  You too? 

Knox College, surrounded by corn fields, was one location of the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates – a series of debates that literally shaped the future of our country.  Here’s one excerpt of that event: 

Both men arrived at the Knox College campus by carriage and walked into the college’s impressive new building that later came to be called Old Main.  The debate was held on the east side of the building.  As the two men, along with other dignitaries, stepped through a window on to the stage it is reported that Lincoln said, “Well, at last I have gone through college.”

                                  Owen Muelder

This spring will again witness a friend or relative’s high school or graduation ceremony for many of us.  Do you remember any of those past commencement speeches?  Maybe this year we should pay closer attention. 

I always enjoy the unbridled hope and enthusiasm that comes from these events.  It reminds me of the proclamations made back in the day, “We can accomplish anything!”; “We will rock!”  Today, how well are we maintaining the spirit of those commitments?  Sometimes growing up dampens our enthusiasm, yes?  Susan Jeffers put it this way: 

Life is what happens when we’ve made other plans.

I understand.  When we work for a living the idealism from high school and college can collide with the demands of Corporate America.  So many people today are trying to “Rock”… as an employee; a parent; a friend; a family member; a community contributor; and so many other responsibilities that it’s easy to forget those happier, simpler, “rural” days. 

It’s not too late.  Before we continue spiraling down the black hole of trepidation, political strife, over-commitments, or despair, let’s refocus on Mason Cooley’s perspective: 

            "Why not?” is a slogan for an interesting life.

I think we’re up to the task.  Why not recommit to hope; enthusiasm; positivity; a better night’s sleep?  Why not strive to simplify our over-energized, over-stressed, “over-urbanized” life styles? 

Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?

Frank Scully 

If we take a moment and think about it, I believe we already have the ability of adding fruit to our daily routine.  Why not follow Charles L. Bromley’s guidance: 

Why not make the best of things?  Any fool can make the worst of them. 

If you’re like me, our college experience was a bit different from Abraham Lincoln’s.  But if he was here today and looking at our possibilities for a better world as compared to the challenges he faced during his presidency, he might offer us these words of wisdom – Why not? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Income taxes - Yuck!

Let’s take a break from our calculators, files, and receipts; aka IRS Form 1040; aka Income Tax Day; aka Yuck!  Next Monday is the deadline.  Are you ready?

Does it seem to you that no matter how we complete our income tax return; no matter how much expert advice we pay for; no matter what plans we put in place to lessen our tax impact for the next year, we still seem to be funding everything?  

On the one hand, I hate the immense level of government spending taking place at the federal, state, county, city and even homeowners’ master association level.  The media reminds us of the tremendous waste that seems to occur every day; every where.  And during an election year?  Well… talk about a “deduction”.  Yuck! 

On the other hand, when there is a natural disaster; a scientific breakthrough funded by a government grant; wider highways; or when we simply have a friend or family member in need and they receive support from a social services program, we are happy we live in America, true? 

Income tax time is one point during the year when we add it all up.  (Talk about “March Madness”. HaHa!)  Sometimes we like the results; other times?  Not so much.  It brings to mind that “new math”: 

The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. 

Will Rogers 

Question:  If I work from home and my dog barks when the FedEx driver arrives; does she qualify as my receptionist – and can I write-off the cost of her dog food?  No? 

All in all, last year was a very good year for me and mine. How about you and yours?  I suppose it depends on how we measure “good”.  Filing income taxes forces us to look at our W-2; 401k; bank statements; along with our mortgage interest; real estate taxes; and all of those numbers the IRS wants us to report.  That’s one way to measure “good” (or some years, not so good). 

When we look in the mirror, often much of our financial pains are self-inflicted: 

More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits. 

John Kirk Nelson 

We heard growing up that money isn’t everything.  Do we have the same perspective as adults?  Hopefully so.  Our income, even when reduced by taxes, can still be more than enough for folks that are easily contented.  Unfortunately, the itch of discontent sometimes influences us to spend more than our means, yes? 

During these times of computations (and consumption), it’s not what we make that counts; it’s what’s left over.  Years ago we called it “net worth”.  Today, “line of credit” seems to have replaced the importance of net worth.  Like our federal government, line of credit means “debt”; and debt is not the same as net worth.  Are we worried?  Maybe we should think like rich people think: 

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.  If you owe the bank $100 Million, that's the bank's problem. 

John Paul Getty 

We are looking forward to this year – it will be our best year ever!  We can control how we define “best” by following the guidance of the renowned author and poet, Robert Lewis Stevenson: 

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.                                 

Oh, and no – the seeds are not deductible. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Obligations…

I was enjoying coffee with my friend Steadman, recently.  I’ve known Steve since grade school.  In addition to coffee we share many common opinions about work, family, and life.  At our recent gathering I shared the zig-zagging path I’ve been on since “retiring” in February 2022.  I may not work fulltime anymore, yet I seem to be busier than ever. 

Truth be told, when one of my former clients or colleagues asks how my retirement is going I cringe. It sounds like I should be sleeping late, golfing, reading the paper; none of which are even close to my daily routine. 

It’s my own fault.  I’m “playing with fire”.  On the one hand, I’m trying to stay connected with the sales profession and today’s business world.  On the other hand, I don’t want to work every day.  And I certainly don’t want to “report to a manager”.  (Besides my wife, of course. HaHa!)  I told Steve I’m literally losing sleep over these mutually exclusive preferences. 

That’s when my friend offered his great wisdom.  “Gary, I know you well enough to say if you put your name on it, then it becomes an obligation.”  That’s it!  That’s exactly what’s been happening. 

Once Steve helped me clarify what was going on in my mind, I immediately realized how I’m getting myself into these situations.  You see, I made a living by following a couple of basic principles.  First, I liked to declare that I was in the business of saying, “Yes”.  That behavior is now engrained.  I’m reluctant to say, “No”; to opt out of things; especially when others around me won’t jump in.  However, saying “Yes” means that it becomes an obligation. 

My second, basic principle is always striving to give my best in competitive situations.  That attitude predates my business pursuits.  For instance, when I was growing up and playing basketball I had the same approach.  I really like Tom Connellan’s explanation for this trait: 

One with passion is better than forty who are merely interested.

We have all interacted with those who are “merely interested”, yes?  That’s not the personal branding I want to be associated with, do you?  Beware though - there’s a price to pay.  Passion  creates obligations. 

The word obligation reminds me of secret #1 from our favorite Unknown Sage and all those “obligated” bull riders: 

Cowboy secrets to life’s success: 

1. Don’t let your head strap your hand to anything your butt can’t ride.

2. Never corner anything meaner than you.

Earlier in my career, I attended training sessions on how to avoid obligations; how to say, “No”.  I had teammates who were concerned about becoming over-extended.  At that time, I could not have disagreed more.  Today, I’m wondering if I should have taken the teaching points more seriously.  Interestingly, another friend of mine (also named Steve) took just such a training class at his company a short time ago.  The crux was how to say politely, professionally, yet uncompromisingly, “No”:  

Not all projects should proceed… sometimes it’s better to be seen as stubborn rather than ineffective. 

Flawless Consulting 

Good point, true?  Going forward I’m going to pay closer attention to what “I put my name on”.  I won’t compromise the passion part. Once my “hand straps my butt” to an obligation, I will pursue that commitment with as much passion and professionalism I have. 

I guess I am stubborn.  But I never want anyone to think I’m “merely interested”. 

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Value is vague and varies…

Earlier this month I wrote about prospects pressuring us to compete on price in order to win their business.  Price-based negotiation was also a question posted on LinkedIn.  “Subject Matter Experts” were invited to weigh in.  (Other Schmoes like me, too. HaHa!) 

In my recent post, I told the story about how my Dad delt with Christmas tree sellers “back in the day”.  In that piece I mentioned the difficulty those tree sellers faced.  They wanted to sell my Dad the value of their best trees.  The problem was, he was shopping on price – even worse, the price he was shopping for was “free”! 

Selling value vs. competing on price comes with many challenges.  Three I cited were: 

• Value is vague
• Value varies by person
• Value is very hard to legitimately quantify 

My comments stimulated several opinions and questions (about negotiation not Christmas trees).  Permit me to address a few of those questions today. 

First, let’s establish a little context.  (BTW - You’ve heard me say before that in the modern marketplace, context is a killer application; especially when it comes to negotiations and selling value vs. price.  The first salesperson to clarify the prospect’s context almost always wins the business.  But I digress…) 

Let’s start with context about our prospects’ money:

You see, I believe we have all been taught since childhood that whatever something “costs” it’s in our best interests to seek a lower cost.  As we saw in Victor Antonio's video, it’s easy for salespeople to be trapped by the gravitational pull of cost becoming the main context of negotiating.  It’s understandable.  I think you might agree that the #1 question, every prospect has at the very beginning of their buying cycle (aka our sales process) is, “How much does something like this cost?”  We ask that question ourselves when we shop, true? 

Now on the other side of the same coin is value.  I believe we have all been taught since adulthood that when we invest in something and that something meets or exceeds our expected return …  we invest more!  Unfortunately, gaining agreement from our prospects on value and return is just not as simple as Victor Antonio’s “Value Equation”.  

That’s because of my second point - value varies by person.  SellXL put it this way a few years ago:

Consequently, the term “value” may sound singular, but it’s really plural.  Each person on our prospect’s buying committee has their own version of value.  In the book The Challenger Customer © (a companion to the book The Challenger Sale ©) this reality and our selling path were expressed this way: 

What's the best strategy for selling to increasingly diverse buying groups?  Track them all down and win them all over. 

Brent Adamson 

Yep, “track them all down”; clarify the context of their value as it relates to our proposal; and then “win them all over”.  Not so simple, agreed? 

The final contextual concept for today is this.  It’s not our prospects’ first rodeo when receiving our value “pitch”.  My colleague Cameron Newell put it more bluntly: Prospects are “burn victims”.  No, not from fire; but from being exposed to years of hyped up sales and marketing messaging that looks something like this:

Have you used these sound bites?  Me too.  However, we need to stop because if we don’t our prospects will “fight fire with fire”.  Smell that?  That’s our deal burning.  Pass the aloe, please.  

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

March Madness and pretending

March Madness – a time for greatness on the college basketball court!  One of my favorite times of the year.  Where does greatness originate from anyway?  Can we leverage lessons learned from March Madness for our own success?  To take a closer look I always like to start at the beginning. 

How many people do you know who have achieved greatness and didn’t actually believe they were capable of being great?  I’m not talking about their outward-facing image (ranging from quiet modesty to over-the-top arrogance).  I’m talking about how they think of themselves inwardly.  Those that don’t have any self-doubt, reservations, or fear. 

Can we achieve greatness without believing - or at least pretending to believe – that we can and should be great?  Pretending to believe – there’s an idea.  Take this James S. Hewett basketball story: 

Former NBA center and coach Johnny Kerr said his biggest test as a coach came when he coached the then-expansion team the Chicago Bulls and his biggest player was 6'8" Erwin Mueller.

We had lost seven in a row and I decided to give a psychological pep talk before a game with the Celtics, Kerr said.  I told Bob Boozer to go out and pretend he was the best scorer in basketball.  I told Jerry Sloan to pretend he was the best defensive guard.  I told Guy Rodgers to pretend he could run an offense better than any other guard, and I told Erwin Mueller to pretend he was the best rebounding, shot-blocking, scoring center in the game.  We lost the game by 17. 

I was pacing around the locker room afterward trying to figure out what to say when Mueller walked up, put his arm around me, and said, “Don't worry about it Coach.  Just pretend we won."

James S. Hewett           

Jerry Sloan, one of the “Original Bulls”.  He may not have been “the best defensive guard” in the NBA.  But he ultimately achieved Hall of Fame greatness even if it took a career to do so. 

Jerry’s fame comes mostly from his coaching success with the Utah Jazz.  Consistency; team-play; fundamentals; toughness; his teams had these admirable qualities.  Oh, he had a few great players too, but they never had the best talent in the league.  Still he led his players to believe they could be great. 

Coaching in the sports world and leading in the business world have many parallels.  What makes great coaches and great business leaders?  Well, I may not be able to articulate a specific list of skills, characteristics, and attributes, but I know a great coach and a great-coached team when I see one.  And whether they are truly great, or just pretending to believe they are truly great, the leader makes a big difference on the ultimate outcome. 

Bum Phillips had coaching success with the then Houston Oilers of the NFL, even though his teams were never thought of as having the best talent in the league.  I have cited this ultimate tribute to Bum’s coaching greatness often: 

He can take his and beat yours; and then he can take yours and beat his.                            

Unknown Sage 

Today, the March Madness teams are hearing their coaches tell them to believe; that they have the magic; that theirs can beat yours in this year’s tournament.  I’m going to believe my 2024 will be a great year, too!  Even if I have to pretend to help me get started.  How about you? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

My rock…

Next Tuesday is a big day on the Pokorn Ranch…

March 19th will mark our 51st wedding anniversary.  A significant number of days to be with one’s significant other, true?  In reality I’ve been with my high school sweetheart since 1970.  That makes it 54 years and continuing!  (Even more, we’ve actually known each other since the 7th grade.)  Do you believe in destiny?  It takes more than destiny:

We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.  But what we put into it is ours.

Dag Hammarskjold

I know many of you are enjoying long-lasting relationships, too.  I think you’d agree that the number of years isn’t what’s important.   Mignon McLaughlin shares this secret:

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

I write about my wife frequently.  Her impact on my life is significant.  Like any couple, we have our good days and… well… those others.  Like many couples, we’ve had a few relationship-testing; foundation-rattling; we’re-not-going-to-make-it; kind of days. 

Over the years we can testify that “for better or worse” really does mean for better or for “worse”.  We’re reminded:

When you’re riding through hell… keep riding.

James P. Owen

Any meaningful journey is like that.  Even one of America’s most famous sweethearts offered her guidance on life’s journey:

Pain nourishes courage.  You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.

Mary Tyler Moore

After 51 years we have learned to enjoy life’s little moments.  “Date night” these days looks nothing like it once did.  Still, we enjoy our quiet time together and our life’s wonderful blessings; all driven by love.  In fact, 51 years ago this month the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 was “Love Train” by the O’Jays.  According to Wikipedia:  

The word 'train' comes from the Old French trahiner, from the Latin trahere meaning pull, or draw.

I have been a passenger on the love train that my wife has been pulling for 51 years!  I’ve tried to contribute a few little things each day to lighten her load a bit; you know; clear the tracks.  Rob Gilbert made a list:

How to have a Winning Day:

You have to listen 

more than you talk…

You have to smile 

more than you frown…

You have to be fascinated 

more than you're frustrated…

You have to believe in yourself 

more than you doubt yourself.

You have to work 

more than you whine.

You have to do 

more than you don't.

I have paid attention to my role and my boundaries, too:

Men ordering custom colors must first bring in a note from their wife. 

Guiry Paint Store

It’s OK; she writes the notes; I run the errands; we make a great team.  And on those occasional occasions where disagreement looms, I heed Harlan Miller’s advice:

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving three or four things a day unsaid.

51 years and our love train is rolling strong.  No matter our future course; no matter the challenges we will face; the trials that will test us; our love train will continue.  We will be pulled along by my magnificent, significant other.  Regardless of whether the wind is at our back or blowing hard in our face, Etheridge Knight’s words guide us:

Love is a rock against the wind. 

Happy 51st Anniversary Dear!  You’re my rock and I love you.

GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Cost vs. value…

What do Christmas trees, the memory of my Dad, and selling value vs. cost have in common?  (Really Gary?  Slow day?) 

Well, let’s pretend you’re the salesperson and I’m your prospect.  If you were selling me the value of your product/service, what value statements would you make?  Go ahead - take a moment - jot a few down.  We’ll come back to them. 

One of my favorite, childhood memories was my Dad taking me to “shop” for a Christmas tree.  His definition of “shopping” was to stop at Christmas tree vendors until he found one willing to give him one for free.  It would be a tree with broken limbs; cast aside; unsellable.  He’d also ask for miscellaneous branches laying about.  The vendors never asked why he wanted one for free.  Perhaps they were just happy to get rid of the scraps.  No value.  (My Mom would have been embarrassed!) 

Back home, using a drill and green string, my Dad would “rebuild” those broken, unsellable tree-parts into a work of beauty.  Ornaments and tinsel would hide the strings holding the whole thing together.  (My Mom was always uneasy when visitors got too close to our tree.) 

My Dad was a “Depression-Era Baby”; very cost-conscious.  No matter how hard the salesman tried to sell him the value of another, beautiful tree, my Dad would hold out.  The fact-of-the-matter was my Dad could afford a full-price tree.  His value lied elsewhere.   He searched by price because (A) he enjoyed the “hunt”; (B) he wanted to introduce me to business transactions; and (C) he took pride in the challenge of assembling a beautiful tree from various, discarded components. 

Fast-forward.  Today, I enjoy working with salespeople who face the selling challenge of cost vs value.  There are many reasons for this challenge.  Generally, I believe value is vague; varies by person; and very hard to quantify.  Consequently, prospects gravitate towards cost.  Cost is specific; objective; and doesn’t vary by person (without negotiating a big discount, of course). 

Salespeople inadvertently reinforce this gravitational pull.  Tools like “TCO” (Total Cost of Ownership) or “ROI” (Return on Investment) calculators make the situation worse.  Guess what these vendor-developed calculators draw the prospect’s attention to?  Two minutes from Victor Antonio:

Victor’s “The Value Equation” almost looks too good to be true, true?  And that’s the problem… this isn’t the prospect’s first rodeo.  The prospect knows exactly how to make the ROI look even better – reduce the denominator! 

Nowadays, we live in an era of affluence.  Nonetheless, no one wants to pay high prices – perhaps that’s why prospects pit salespeople against one another to earn their business.  Do you compete on price?  Your prospects hopes so: 

The Law of the Marketplace: 

If only one price can be obtained for any quotation, the price will be unreasonable. 

Unknown Sage 

Still, who doesn’t enjoy getting a deal? 

            It's not the cheaper things

that we want to possess

But expensive things

that cost a little less.                       

Rolf B. White 

Every time I see a prospect wanting an expensive thing for “a little less”, I smile.  I remember my Dad and our Christmas trees.  (I also know why my Mom never joined us.  She would have valued the full-price tree.) 

OK then, those value statements I asked you to jot down above...  it was actually a trick question.  In the real world, only your prospects can define their value.  The key question is, are you asking them? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Looking forward

I finished Mark Manson’s book recently.  I normally credit author and book title in my little ditties but the profanity in Mark’s book title is too vulgar even for me.  Suffice it to say it’s a New York Times #1 Best Seller and I’m sure you’ll discover what I mean if you Google him. 

I disliked Mark’s writing style and I thought many of his stories were self-serving and greatly exaggerated.  Of course, I’m speaking as a self-professed storyteller who is known to exaggerate, too.  I also know not all of my readers appreciate my writing style.  Nonetheless, Mark reminded me how far people are taking extreme positions today to stand above the average.  For instance, excessive profanity has become all too commonplace - in Mark’s book; TV; social media; bumper stickers; T-shirts… 

I know Mark won’t give a (expletive) about my opinion.  I don’t think he’s trying to make me or his readers happy.  I understand.  When I write, I’m sharing my opinions primarily for my own, self-serving purposes.  Writing is my outlet.  Hopefully, there’s some benefit for my readers but that’s not what motivates me.  Maybe Mark and I are actually following a similar opinion offered by Nick Saban (then recently retired, legendary and provocative college football coach from the University of Alabama): 

Looking back - Mark’s book certainly wasn’t like eating ice cream. Nevertheless, I’ve always believed it worthy to finish what I start and I’m always glad when I do.  Reading a book is no different.  I won’t put a book down just because it offers differing opinions (even if distastefully expressed).  Opinions are just opinions and opposing opinions can be learning opportunities.  Being a natural “cynacist”, my inner cynicism was served towards the end of his book when he wrote, “Now that I’m in my thirties, I can finally recognize…”  

Opinions on how to live our life by a thirty-something???  It provoked me to think; “Hey Buddy, check back with me forty years from now and see how your “finally recognize” worked out!”  But that’s being cynical. 

I know opinions are just that.  Everyone has them.  I’m no different than those younger than me.  I was highly opinionated and quite brash forty years ago. (Still am HaHa!): 

“What's your opinion of my idea?” the brash young man asked his boss.  “It isn't worth anything”, said the boss.  “I know”, conceded the young egotist, “but give it to me anyway.” 

Unknown Sage 

But, there’s limited value in looking back.  I’m glad Mark finally got around to looking forward and sharing the things he “recognized” after a few chapters focused on bashing everyone’s flaws.  I know many folks today are trying to live and think the way he wrote about in his book.  I don’t intend to continue to look back at what was written and how it was written.  I’ve accepted those opinions he shared that align with my own; ignored the rest;  and now I’m looking forward.  

Speaking of looking forward, another 30 something comes to mind.  Jelly Roll is the 2023 Country Music Association award-winning Male Vocalist of the Year.  Turns out, he was also an addict and a distributor of illegal drugs in his thirties.  Even so, he offered an opinion we might all benefit from: 

The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason because what’s in front of you is so much more important than what’s behind you. 

Thanks Jelly!  Here’s to forward. 

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Pundits, Pontificators, et al

The 2024 Summer Olympic Games are coming.  What a terrific sports festival for our modern era!  Interestingly, the 2022 Winter Olympic gold medal for women’s figure skating was only recently determined.  Finally, after two years of debate, discussion, and controversy.  I wonder if that’s how the Greeks did it 2,800 years ago? 

America has our own “modern game”.  Did you join in the aftermath?  It was Monday, February 12^th.  Ring a bell?  How about this: It was the day after the most watched television event in history with an estimated 123.7 million viewers.  Actually, the phenomenon I’m referring to started the night before; even before the fans left the stadium. 

Monday February 12^th brought out the rest of the seers; soothsayers; second-guessers, pundits; pontificators; doubters; experts; gurus; quarterbacks of the arm-chair and Monday-morning variety, and (of course) the critics. Some are still grinding on it.  I chuckle about the pontificators: 

“Pontificator” 

in British English 

NOUN a person who pontificates 

Yes, yes, I’m a pontificator, too.  Even so, are these other gurus worth listening to?  All the hoopla reminds me of Dale Carnegie’s pontification: 

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. 

I’m talking about Super Bowl LVIII.  (That’s 58 to us non-Latin-Speaking-Romans).  I get it.  Sports fans, bettors, media, and even the 123.7 viewers have their opinions about whether the Chiefs won the game or the 49ers lost it.  Is Kyle Shanahan an elite NFL head coach who has yet to win a Super Bowl?  Or is he a bumbling idiot who blew the game over a coin flip? 

Shanahan certainly unleashed the “What if’s”.  Especially the “if’s”.  And we all know: 

If the Hamm’s Bear drank Schlitz, there’d be no land of sky blue waters. 

Unknown Sage 

I could join in.  “What if” it turns out that the Kansas City Chiefs are one of the greatest NFL teams ever assembled.  In spite of the Bills Mafia (a favorite fan base of mine), Buffalo couldn’t beat the Chiefs at home.  Not even the Baltimore Ravens with the best regular season record, home field advantage, and the NFL’s Most Valuable Player in 2024 could beat KC. 

Personally, I admired Shanahan’s confidence.  Score first; hold KC; and the debate shifts to whether the Superbowl MVP should have been Brock Purdy or Christian McCaffrey.  Oh, Kyle could have doubted; played less aggressively; feared Patrick Mahomes; anticipated the punditry.  But try as they might, the post-game media experts couldn’t get him to say he made a mistake.  He remained confident in the face of criticism just as Michael Treacy wrote about in his book The Discipline of Market Leaders ©: 

            Courage in the face of doubt is essential. 

Oh well, criticism of defeats have been with mankind as long as there has been mankind.  I’m sure you and I face the doubters and second guessers every time a decision we made doesn’t turn out very well.  I’d rather heed the ancients: 

There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing; say nothing; and be nothing. 

Aristotle 

Nonetheless, the debate and the criticism continues; especially the criticism in spite of what the ancients might think.  As for the Olympics, the International Olympic Committee has published this historical perspective: 

The Original values of Olympism as expressed in the Olympic Charter were to encourage effort, preserve human dignity, and develop harmony.  

Hmmm… No mention of coin flips by a single seer, soothsayer, or pontificator. 

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Luv rules…

Today is Valentine’s Day – it’s still not too late.  There’s still time to do something special for that special person. 

OK – so I can’t take credit for creating this awesome display of love for my love.  That was someone else’s awesome display of their love for their love.  Can I take “observation credit” for stopping along the roadside while driving through this western Illinois farming community to take the picture?  I think my wife will give me credit for a little kind-hearted, photo-plagiarism because I know she knows: 

Love rules without rules. 

Italian Proverb 

Who says men are oblivious and have no powers of observation?  OK – so a billboard is hard to miss.  Observing that man’s demonstration of love reminds us all that today, no assumptions; no taking her for granted; no obliviousness; no subtleties are allowed.  On Valentine’s Day, we must shout our love for our love from the top of the mountains!  Of course, we hope our women do the same for the men in their lives: 

You know “That Look” women get when they want sex?  Me neither. 

Steve Martin 

Today may be a special day in my marriage, but our relationship over the years has taken constant care (and patience).  Thankfully, my wife has patience: 

Patience strengthens the spirit,

   sweetens the temper,

      stifles anger,

    extinguishes envy,

  subdues pride,

bridles the tongue,

   restrains the hand,

      and tramples upon temptation. 

George Horne 

It’s easier to be patient with the little things I suppose.   But when times get tough, the most convenient person to argue with, vent to, and take our frustrations out on is often our partner, true?  Life seems to move so fast; people seem to be so stressed; the media inundates us with so many sensationalized issues. 

I don’t know; are meaningful, loving partnerships easier or harder to find these days?  With everything racing at a break-neck pace, who’s responsible for maintaining a healthy, loving, long-lasting relationship?  Well, here’s a view from Wyatt Webb: 

You are 100 percent responsible for 50 percent of any relationship. 

Carrying more than ½ the load you say?  Yep – you and my wife, too. 

Thankfully, my wife and I are still in love after all of these years.  We will do something quiet this Valentine’s Day; we enjoy our quiet time together - always have.  We’re blessed with sharing many common interests, so spending time together and “decompressing” from our fast-paced life is a nice retreat. 

Like you, our conversations will span a variety of topics; children; friends; happy memories; love.  Of course, when we’re together we will also synchronize our calendars; debate upcoming projects; disagree on priorities; discuss business; and almost always review our finances.  Yuck!  Necessary I suppose, but not very romantic. 

Yet this Valentine’s Day I will be reminded: 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

Mignon McLaughlin 

So here’s to February 14^th – Valentine’s Day.  May you enjoy it with someone special in your life.  If you’re lucky enough to be in love, may you cherish your quiet time together; sharing common interests; being patient with life’s challenges; relishing the restorative results of romance. 

And if you’re with someone but you’re not yet sure if he or she is “the one”, don’t worry – trust your gut feeling: 

Love is not finding someone you can live with; it’s finding someone you cannot live without. 

Rafael Ortiz 

Love rules without rules on Valentine’s Day – and every day. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.