My rock…

Next Tuesday is a big day on the Pokorn Ranch…

March 19th will mark our 51st wedding anniversary.  A significant number of days to be with one’s significant other, true?  In reality I’ve been with my high school sweetheart since 1970.  That makes it 54 years and continuing!  (Even more, we’ve actually known each other since the 7th grade.)  Do you believe in destiny?  It takes more than destiny:

We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.  But what we put into it is ours.

Dag Hammarskjold

I know many of you are enjoying long-lasting relationships, too.  I think you’d agree that the number of years isn’t what’s important.   Mignon McLaughlin shares this secret:

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

I write about my wife frequently.  Her impact on my life is significant.  Like any couple, we have our good days and… well… those others.  Like many couples, we’ve had a few relationship-testing; foundation-rattling; we’re-not-going-to-make-it; kind of days. 

Over the years we can testify that “for better or worse” really does mean for better or for “worse”.  We’re reminded:

When you’re riding through hell… keep riding.

James P. Owen

Any meaningful journey is like that.  Even one of America’s most famous sweethearts offered her guidance on life’s journey:

Pain nourishes courage.  You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.

Mary Tyler Moore

After 51 years we have learned to enjoy life’s little moments.  “Date night” these days looks nothing like it once did.  Still, we enjoy our quiet time together and our life’s wonderful blessings; all driven by love.  In fact, 51 years ago this month the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 was “Love Train” by the O’Jays.  According to Wikipedia:  

The word 'train' comes from the Old French trahiner, from the Latin trahere meaning pull, or draw.

I have been a passenger on the love train that my wife has been pulling for 51 years!  I’ve tried to contribute a few little things each day to lighten her load a bit; you know; clear the tracks.  Rob Gilbert made a list:

How to have a Winning Day:

You have to listen 

more than you talk…

You have to smile 

more than you frown…

You have to be fascinated 

more than you're frustrated…

You have to believe in yourself 

more than you doubt yourself.

You have to work 

more than you whine.

You have to do 

more than you don't.

I have paid attention to my role and my boundaries, too:

Men ordering custom colors must first bring in a note from their wife. 

Guiry Paint Store

It’s OK; she writes the notes; I run the errands; we make a great team.  And on those occasional occasions where disagreement looms, I heed Harlan Miller’s advice:

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving three or four things a day unsaid.

51 years and our love train is rolling strong.  No matter our future course; no matter the challenges we will face; the trials that will test us; our love train will continue.  We will be pulled along by my magnificent, significant other.  Regardless of whether the wind is at our back or blowing hard in our face, Etheridge Knight’s words guide us:

Love is a rock against the wind. 

Happy 51st Anniversary Dear!  You’re my rock and I love you.

GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.