Worth it?

I saw a quote online recently (apologies I don’t remember the source), about how we are all replaceable by AI at the office, but we are all irreplaceable at home with our family.  Having retired in 2022, it’s easy for me to look back and question/dissect/reflect about my days of heavy business travel.  Away from home. Away from my family.  Justifying it with my W-2.

Many of you have “been there, done that” as well, true?  (Many are there now.) 

Of course in today’s “modern world”, business flights every week have been replaced by Zoom.  Long hours in the office have been replaced by work-from-home (or, as I prefer to describe it, “live at work”). 

That online quote came almost simultaneously to a book I just finished, Son of Nobody © by Yann Martel, a novel about a scholar at Oxford researching a combatant in the Trojan War.  This characters’ line gave me pause after he lost his marriage and was absent when his 9-year old daughter died: 

It's a question that has always haunted me: was my work worth it?  For all the joy of it, and that joy was real, were those hours and weeks and months worth it, when they kept me away…? 

We see it don’t we?  At a restaurant the couple next to us; she on her iPad, he talking on his Air Pods.  We see them at the kids’ game, cell phone in hand, drawn to checking email.  Attending a VRBO family vacation and upon arrival ensuring first, last, and in between wireless network and password access.  Or simply grocery shopping while simultaneously “checking in” from our phone.  Oops!  Sorry for bumping into you. 

Yes, I know.  Moms will say, “I am there for my kids!”  But in reality we all know you can be there and not “be there”.  Dads’ minds; attention; and worries are not about whether their child’s piano recital is going off without a hitch, but rather what’s going on “back at the office”.  Which “there” was he at? 

I’m no better. In between President’s Clubs, commission checks, and stock options, I missed much of my sons’ childhood.  Not to mention the added stress my absence put on my wife and our marriage.  Acknowledging my guilt perhaps, I wrote a meager poem back in the day: 

A shared prayer from the Mayflower to the modern day road warrior: 

We know before leavin'

    The ride will be bumpy

    The quarters will be dumpy

    The stewards will be grumpy

    And still we must go.

We know before leavin'

    The days will be long

    ETAs promised will be wrong

    Success smiles on only the strong

    And still we must go.

We know before leavin'

    Our family will pine

    We'll miss children's' prime

    We barter money for time

    And still we must go.

We know before leavin'

    To no one we sob

    While pursuing our job

    Our energy travels rob

    And still we must go.

We know before leavin'

    And we pray every evening

    Lord, get me home safe

    And I'll call the rest even. 

Look, you may not like my poem.  You may not like this message.  You may not like my posts.  You may not like me.  Regardless, I beseech you to hear these words from an aging road warrior.  Prioritizing career over family – IT’S NOT WORTH IT! 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Moms are special…

My Mom was special - I bet your Mom, too.  This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day.  In mind; in memory; or in person; let’s be sure to make it special for Mom.  They often lead us when we’re in over our head:

Among many other qualities, they are lifetime mentors and teachers.  Remember the life-long lessons you learned?  I do. 

What my Mother taught me: 

My Mother taught me logic;

“Because I said so, that's why.” 

My Mother taught me irony;

“Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about.” 

My Mother taught me about the science of osmosis:

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" 

Unknown Sage 

Mothers offer us encouragement in just the right way, also… even at risk of hurting our feelings: 

My mother always encouraged me to be myself.  “Unless you’re going to be boring on that day, in which case do us all a favor and be someone else.” 

Joan Rivers 

But more than anything else, Moms have a special and immeasurable reservoir of power, true?  My Mom did.  She was stricken with cancer when I was 6 years old.  In fact, I cannot remember a time when she was not ill.  The last 15 years of her life were spent undergoing continuous treatments: 

I watched my Mom’s great power, which she needed in order to deal with a new cancer treatment in the late 1960’s that was so unimaginably harsh – the administration of this treatment was solely based on the primitive science of trial and error.  The doctors’ routine consisted of observing how much of a dose could she tolerate without it killing her. 

It was an experimental treatment back then; offered only as a last resort for terminally ill cancer patients. This wasn’t a cure; just a radical option to extend one’s life a precious little more.  Because of her staying power she survived another two years before finally succumbing in 1974. My Mom’s power, and that of so many others like her, helped pave the way to the development of today’s commonly used, life-saving cancer treatment we all know as chemotherapy. 

How many special Moms have sacrificed trying to fight terrible diseases (and brutal treatments) so the rest of us can benefit from the exaggerated term, “modern medicine”? 

Mother’s Day - make it special for your Mom if she’s living; make it special for you through your memories of your Mom if she’s not. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

It’s not that hard…

I had lunch with a friend of mine recently.  He is an amazing sales professional.  He’s a “hunter” – a rare breed in the sales profession these days and becoming rarer.  His track record is stellar.  He’s been the #1 sales rep for Workday’s FP&A product line seven years in a row.  Impressive! 

Though I’m retired from the hunt, he’s one of a handful of salespeople who schedule time with me periodically.  They realize it’s not that hard.  Whether in-person or Zoom, I’m pretty available.  The common thread across these encounters is they all know that I “know”.  It’s not that hard.  I know a hunter’s “nots”: 

• A hunter does not want to be managed
• A hunter does not want to be trained
• A hunter does not want to be called by junior/new/under-performing reps who want to “pick his/her brain”
• And perhaps most importantly, a hunter does not want to be left alone 

To be clear, these salespeople are all better in their jobs today than I could be.  Oh, I had my days back in the day.  But any records I held these hunters have all surpassed and then some.  Fortunately, I don’t have to be a better salesman to help them.  I mean, even Jack Nicklaus had golf instructors:

So, why do we meet?  It’s not that hard, really.  They’re good thinkers.  I’m a good listener.  They share thoughts on things on their mind.  I listen and when appropriate reflect their thinking back to them with perspective, context, a little experience, and a bit of wisdom added in.  I help them think through how they will balance their priorities of short-term, long-term, family, health, etc.  Everything but money – they already have that nailed. 

They might tell you that I’m coaching them or mentoring them.  I do share mistakes I’ve made in the hope that they might avoid same.  Yes, they can talk to their significant others, (about some topics, not about all) but the usual result is receiving pure love; without selling substance.  Some hunters mistakenly believe they should just rely on themself: 

Learn from the skillful: He that teaches himself hath a fool for his master. 

Benjamin Franklin 

At “the end of the day” (and I hate that cliché and all of the other cliches about “lone wolf” or “Type A personalities”) I think it comes back to successful salespeople don’t want to be left alone – on their own. 

It’s not that hard… or, is it? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

 

You’re fired…

In recognition of the mass layoffs at Oracle, I thought I’d share my personal experience from 15 years ago.  For those impacted, it can be a difficult time.  But have no fear.  You are talented.  Things will work out.

In January of 2011, I was invited by InfoGroup to find new employment (aka I was fired).  I had the opportunity to join the traumatized, fearful ranks of the unemployed.  Fearing the worst comes easy.  

I had fear alright.  At my age back then, with the state of the US economy, and my wife’s four horses in our backyard eating while we slept, there were plenty of reasons to have fear.  But: 

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.

German Proverb 

There I was; 8:30 Friday morning, losing the job I liked and facing a downward spiral of fear, the wolf right behind me.  What will I do now?  How will we get by? 

Turns out, by 5:00 p.m. on that same day I had a consulting gig lined up.  Three weeks later, I had two firm offers.  I took the higher paying one (because at my age it was all about the money) and joined NetSuite.  I worked for a terrific boss in a role that I was a perfect fit for.  Here’s to Seneca:          

Our fears are always more numerous than our dangers. 

Seneca 

I still had fear.  In fact, I almost didn’t take that job.  You see, I feared success.  Funny thing about fear in the business world; we can fear failure; we can fear losing our jobs; we can fear all of the bad things that may happen.  We can also fear success.  We can fear greatness.  I guess there’s no place to hide. 

We will just have to do our best to do the job we are hired to do and take our chances.  And you know what?  Maybe our hiring managers see the qualities we have even more clearly than we see ourselves.  Maybe they know what they’re doing when they hire us.  Maybe if we stopped fearing and looking over our shoulder for a moment, we can be the great contributor our companies think we will be.  Maybe… 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens most of us.  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?”

Nelson Mandela 

OK, gorgeous and fabulous may be a stretch.  But maybe we really are brilliant and talented.  Maybe our companies; our clients; our manager; and our staff really are fortunate to have us.  Maybe there really aren’t any wolves chasing us. 

So fear not Oracle alumni.  Here’s to going out every day to be brilliant and talented (and maybe even a little gorgeous and fabulous, too!) in your next position.  Your gain.  Oracle’s loss. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.