Day by day…

Happy Anniversary Debbie! 

This Saturday will mark 49 years together.  That is 17,885 days!  A significant amount of time to be with one’s significant other, true? 

In reality it’s been more than 17,885 days.  We met in the 7^th grade and started dating in 1970.  I knew early on that she was the one.  Then on that day; March 19^th, 1973; two high school sweethearts eloped.  I was twenty, she was just a teenager. 

Many of you are in long-lasting relationships; many have been married longer than we.  A Mile High Salute to you!  Maybe our relationship thrived because I was a “Road Warrior”.  A colleague of mine once said:           

     The secret to a long marriage is a husband that travels. 

                        Lisa Kwiecien 

I enjoy writing about my wife frequently.  Like any couple, we have our good days and our not-so-good days.  Like many couples, we’ve also had some of those relationship-testing; foundation-rattling; we’re-not-going-to-make-it; kind of days.   When those days occurred we followed James P. Owen’s advice: 

     When you’re riding through hell… keep riding. 

Any meaningful ride is like that, don’t you think?  Even one of America’s most famous sweethearts offered this guidance on life’s journey: 

Pain nourishes courage.  You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. 

                        Mary Tyler Moore 

Our journey together has had pain; it has also had life’s most wonderful experiences!  This year we are prepared for the next wonderful experiences to come - I retired from the full time work as a salesman and now will be a full time husband.  It will be the first time I am full time as my wife’s husband.  I hope that doesn’t cause her any pain HaHa! 

Throughout our marriage I’ve tried to pay attention to the little things that make a difference day by day; lighten my wife’s daily load a bit. Some days I did; other days I didn’t.  Nonetheless, we have enjoyed our love day by day for many, many days and hopefully many more days to come.  We’d like each day to be a good day.  Rob Gilbert offers this advice: 

How to have a Winning Day: 

You have to listen more than you talk…

You have to smile more than you frown…

You have to be fascinated more than you're frustrated…

You have to believe in yourself more than you doubt yourself.

You have to work more than you whine.

You have to do more than you don't.                               

 I will also pay attention to my boundaries:

Men ordering custom colors must first bring in a note from their wife.  

Guiry Paint Store 

It’s OK; she’ll writes the notes; I’ll run the errands; we’ll make a great team.  And on those occasional occasions where disagreement looms, I will heed Harlan Miller’s advice: 

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving three or four things a day unsaid.                                 

17,885 days and our love train is still rolling strong - pulled along by my significant other.  No matter our future course; no matter the challenges we will face; the trials that will test us; our love train will continue.  Not even the weather will deter us.  Whether the wind is filling our sails from behind or blowing hard; pummeling us in the face; Etheridge Knight’s words will be our guide: 

Love is a rock against the wind. 

Happy 49^th Anniversary Dear!  You are my rock and I love you. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective. 

Salute to women…

I like to reflect on life’s little moments.  Like picking up horse manure in my wife’s indoor arena recently; reminded how blessed we are having an indoor arena!  Not to mention the awesomeness of my wife’s horses:  

The smell of horse manure brought to mind this story of my wife and salespeople. 

We were visiting vendor booths at the National Western Stock Show several years ago.  My wife was focused on the builders of buildings, barns, and arenas.  She was a “lead”.  As a sales professional, I get a kick out of how other salespeople “qualify” leads.  Most leads turn out to be “just looking”.  A few actually buy.  But how do you separate “lookers” from “buyers”?  I mean salespeople aren’t clairvoyant: 

At a recent annual meeting of the International Association of Clairvoyants, the meeting began by reading the minutes of next year's meeting. 

                   Unknown Sage 

I know sales cold-calling is tough; trade show leads are not much warmer.  However, how many deals are lost simply for lack of follow-up?  Rick Page once said: 

Sell the way the customer buys and allocate your resources accordingly. 

Either she didn’t seem credible (under the “this woman is too good to be true” syndrome), or the salespeople we spoke to were overly adept at qualifying.  True - I did most of the talking (no surprise there)… describing what we wanted; when we wanted it; and, most importantly, who our decision-maker was.  My soft-spoken wife was “VITO” (from the book Selling to VITO: Very Important Top Officer).  Straight forward?  Guess not.  

My wife was looking for a custom-built, indoor riding arena.  The final design was a 110 foot by 65 foot; two-story building; sitting on a quarter acre of our property.  One would think salespeople would be chomping at the bit to follow up on lead like this.  Guess not. 

She spoke to eleven vendors.  Four followed up.  Four.  Was she worthy of a follow up from the other seven?  Guess not. 

The first vendor quoted her a price per square foot over the phone.  No appointment; no explanation on useable square feet; no references; no visuals!  Very efficient, but she was actually expecting a sales meeting.  The second vendor would only meet if I (the “husband”) was present.  He refused to believe my wife was VITO.  Was she amused?  Nope - just insulted. 

The third vendor scheduled an onsite appointment.  He shared drawings and a pricing worksheet.  He set up two references so she could see examples of his work and talk with his customers.  After checking on county building codes, he returned for a final consultation along with his proposal.  All of these sales meetings were conducted thoroughly and professionally.  He won her business. 

The fourth vendor?  He called in June.  The Stock Show was in January; the arena was finished in May. 

Is “Make them beg” the motto of some salespeople?  Norman R. Augustine commented on business executives condoning this type of sales (in)efficiency: 

It nonetheless spoke highly of the firm's management that they seemed to be going out of business in an orderly fashion. 

I always believed salespeople are not qualified to qualify prospects (aka “leads”).  Did I waste time with “unqualified” leads?  Occasionally.  But other times I was closing the deal while my competitors were debating whether to follow up, or not.  I believe first in; best dressed; wins the “modern buyer’s” business! 

Really, my wife is VITO.  I’m just the poop-picker-upper! 

                      GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Olympians all…

The Olympics are always a major TV event.  Did you watch the Winter Games?  This year things seemed a bit different.  Maybe it was Covid; maybe the absence of fans; maybe those damn Russians.  Has the purpose of the Olympics morphed? 

Originally the Games were a religious event honoring the Greek Gods: 

In the ancient Greek religion and Greek mythology, the Twelve Olympians are the major deities of the Greek pantheon, commonly considered to be Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Athena, Apollo, Artemis, Ares, Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Hermes, and either Hestia or Dionysus.  Hades and Persephone were sometimes included as part of the twelve Olympians (primarily due to the influence of the Eleusinian Mysteries), although in general Hades was excluded, because he resided permanently in the underworld and never visited Olympus. 

                   Wikipedia 

I didn’t know that.  Back to Wikipedia: 

The Olympic Games (Ancient Greek: Ὀλύμπια Olympia, "the Olympics") were a series of athletic competitions among representatives of city-states … They were held in honor of Zeus, and the Greeks gave them a mythological origin. The first Olympics is traditionally dated to 776 BC. 

That’s 2,798 years and counting! 

My favorite Olympic moment actually comes from a previous Games: 

Let your imagination put you in a grandstand at the Seattle version of the Special Olympics.  There are nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash.  At the gun, they all start out, not exactly in a dash, but with relish to run the race to the finish and win.  All, that is, except one boy who stumbles on the asphalt, tumbles over a couple of times, and begins to cry.  The other eight hear the boy cry.  They slow down and look back.  They all turn around and go back… every one of them.  As you watch, one girl with Down’s Syndrome bends down and kisses him.  You hear her say, “This will make it better.”  All nine link arms and walk across the finish line together.  Everyone in the stadium, including you, stands up, and the cheering goes on for several minutes.  People who were actually there are still telling the story, four years later.  Why?  Because deep down we know this one thing:  What matters in this life is helping others win, even if it means changing our own course.  

David S. Pottruck 

Olympians are not limited to Olympic Games.  For many of us, “changing our own daily course” requires an Olympian effort. 

For many of us, each day we must set our mind for victory to avoid defeat: 

If you think you are beaten, you are,

If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you like to win, but you think you can’t,

It is almost certain you won’t.

 

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,

For out in the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will –

It’s all in the state of mind.

 

If you think you are outclassed, you are,

You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

You can ever win a prize.

 

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But soon or later that man who wins

Is the man who thinks he can.  

Unknown Sage 

The Olympics will continue but for most rest of us… we will rise tomorrow; set our mind for our daily demands; thinking - BELIEVING - “we can”!   

Not something I call “Games”.  

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Now what?

Last Friday I retired from the technology sales profession.  After forty three years, I’m leaving it to the young.  I suppose throughout history all generations had trepidations about leaving things to the young: 

            In youth we learn, in age we understand. 

Marcie VonEbner-Eschenbach 

I might understand now.  What thoughts come to your mind when you hear the words “Generation X”?  How about “Millennials”?  I don’t even know what to make out of “Digital Natives”!  Yikes!  Am I feeling what my grandparents and great grandparents felt when it was my turn?  Well, there is always “hope” HaHa! 

We hope that when the insects take over the world they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. 

                     Bill Vaughan 

Now I’m turning my time and attention to what comes after a career in the technology sales business. For me that is writing.  Thank you in advance for “volunteering” to be my readers.  I hope you enjoy reading my stories as much as I enjoy writing them.  

Since I have never been formally trained how to write, I’m leaning on advice from our favorite, Unknown Sage: 

     Rules for Good Riting 

·         Just between you and i, case is important.

·         Verbs has to agree with their subject.

·         Watch out for irregular verbs which has cropped up into our language.

·         Don't use no double negatives.

·         When dangling, don't use participles.

·         Join clauses good like a conjunction should.

·         And don't use conjunctions to start sentences.

·         Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

·         In letters themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep strings apart.

·         Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.

·         Its important to use apostrophe's right.

·         Don't abbrev.

·         Check to see if you any words out.

·         In my opinion I think that the author when he is writing should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words which he does not really need.

·         Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

·         Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague. 

Yep – you noticed; I already break most of these rules.  I guess I learned about breaking the rules in sales!  With my sales background, I also worry about being verbose: 

            Don't be like the young preacher who had only one farmer show up for his service.  The preacher asked the one farmer what should he do, "Give the sermon or just talk?"  The farmer said, "If I go to feed my cows and just one shows up, I still feed 'em."

     So the preacher lets go and gives his full sermon with all the theatrics and emotion of a truly inspired preacher.

     When he was done and out of breath, he asked the farmer, "How was it?"  The farmer replied, "When only one cow shows up I don't dump the whole load!" 

                        Harlan Goehger 

So there is what’s next for me.  Of course, one of the first orders of business will be to update my LinkedIn profile.  Other than referencing Penny or a Pound Publishing LLC, the rest of the person listed there is who I used to be. 

There’s a story about why I did not acknowledge I had been a Master Sales Enablement Advisor for Oracle NetSuite since 2011.  That story is rife with luck and coincidence just like the rest of my career.  I look forward to sharing it with you some time. 

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective. 

What more did you expect?

Often times, answers to our questions are right in front of us. 

My company reorganized our department in 2018; something technology companies do all the time.  It wasn’t my first rodeo.  These things have happened to me, my colleagues, clients, family, and friends periodically.  Nonetheless, the 2018 reorg impacted me in a profoundly personal way. 

In 2011 I had (finally) found the perfect job.  I like to laugh that it took me 30 years, but in 2011 I made a career pivot into something little known back then; more commonplace today called “sales enablement”.  I approached sales enablement as 1/3 sales training; 1/3 sales management; 1/3 sales operations; and 1/3 business consulting.  Four-thirds, you say?  Yep!  Because the role was a perfect fit I threw my whole self into the job.  It has been wonderfully fulfilling. 

Then the 2018 reorg… 

I could have quit; many of my colleagues did just that.  Instead, I decided to stay and make a difference.  But for how long?  That was my question.  It took a few years, but I (finally) realized God had been offering me direction all along.  I wasn’t drowning, but I certainly needed a little help: 

            A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.  Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”  The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”  So the rowboat went on. 

     Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”  To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”  So the motorboat went on. 

     Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”  To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”  So the helicopter reluctantly flew away. 

     Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!” 

     To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?” 

The people in my rowboat were my friends and former ADP colleagues; Tom McSweeney, Tony Marabotti, and Steve Major.  The driver of the motorboat was my big brother Jim along with my doctors who informed me I was no longer “Superman”.  (Actually, I always fancied myself more like Batman. HaHa!)  

Then my helicopter pilot arrived.  Steve Steadman a grade school friend I had not seen in decades.  Turns out, he’s lived 20 minutes nearby for years.  Finally, my college basketball coach and lifelong mentor Harley Knosher spoke to me through a YouTube video of all things that was almost two years old before I watched it (link). 

It was then that I knew God was saying, “What more did you expect?” 

Last week I informed my manager I am retiring from the technology sales field for good; leaving future fortunes to the young.  May God help them, too. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Luv rules…

Next Monday is Valentine’s Day – it’s not too late.  There’s still time to do something special for that special person. 

OK – so I can’t take credit for creating this awesome display of love for my love.  That was someone else’s awesome display of their love for their love.  Can I take “observation credit” for stopping along the roadside while driving through this western Illinois farming community to take the picture?  I think my wife will give me credit for a little kind-hearted, photo-plagiarism because I know she knows: 

Love rules without rules. 

Italian Proverb 

Who says men are oblivious and have no powers of observation?  OK – so a billboard is hard to miss.  Observing that man’s demonstration of love reminds us all that Monday, no assumptions; no taking her for granted; no obliviousness; no subtleties are allowed.  On Valentine’s Day, we must shout our love for our love from the top of the mountains!  Of course, we hope our women do the same for the men in their lives: 

You know “That Look” women get when they want sex?  Me neither. 

Steve Martin 

Monday may be a special day in my marriage, but our relationship over the years has taken constant care (and patience).  Thankfully, my wife has patience: 

Patience strengthens the spirit,

   sweetens the temper,

      stifles anger,

    extinguishes envy,

  subdues pride,

bridles the tongue,

   restrains the hand,

      and tramples upon temptation.  

George Horne 

It’s easier to be patient with the little things I suppose.   But when times get tough, the most convenient person to argue with, vent to, and take our frustrations out on is often our partner, true?  Life seems to move so fast; people seem to be so stressed; the media inundates us with so many sensationalized issues. 

I don’t know; are meaningful, loving partnerships easier or harder to find these days?  With everything racing at a break-neck pace, who’s responsible for maintaining a healthy, loving, long-lasting relationship?  Well, here’s a view from Wyatt Webb: 

You are 100 percent responsible for 50 percent of any relationship. 

Carrying more than ½ the load you say?  Yep – you and my wife, too. 

Thankfully, my wife and I are still in love after all of these years.  We will do something quiet this Valentine’s Day; we enjoy our quiet time together - always have.  We’re blessed with sharing many common interests, so spending time together and “decompressing” from our fast-paced life is a nice retreat. 

Like you, our conversations will span a variety of topics; children; friends; happy memories; love.  Of course, when we’re together we will also synchronize our calendars; debate upcoming projects; disagree on priorities; discuss business; and almost always review our finances.  Yuck!  Necessary I suppose, but not very romantic.  

Yet this Valentine’s Day I will be reminded: 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

Mignon McLaughlin 

So here’s to February 14^th – Valentine’s Day.  May you enjoy it with someone special in your life.  If you’re lucky enough to be in love, may you cherish your quiet time together; sharing common interests; being patient with life’s challenges; relishing the restorative results of romance.  

And if you’re with someone but you’re not yet sure if he or she is “the one”, don’t worry – trust your gut feeling:  

Love is not finding someone you can live with; it’s finding someone you cannot live without. 

Rafael Ortiz 

Love rules without rules on Valentine’s Day – and every day. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Manager…

What thoughts does the word “manager” stimulate in your mind?  Are you one?  Is that a role you aspire to? 

I aspired to be a manager once; I became one, too.  Careful what you ask for HaHa!  I meant well.  Thankfully my direct reports were patient: 

But even top management types are mostly harmless when you get to know them.  Given lots of love, some even make good pets. 

Rick Levine 

I did try to follow Fred Smith’s thought leadership in his book, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em ©: 

A manager is not a person who can do the work better than his men; he is the person who can get his men to do the work better than he can. 

Of all the things I did as a manager the one thing I did well was recruit top talent – women and men.  I also did my best to support them as they did their work: 

     It was a beautiful day when I stopped into a Rock Bottom Restaurant for a quick lunch.  The place was jammed.  I was happy to grab the one stool they had available at the bar.  A few minutes after I sat down, a young man carrying a tray full of dirty dishes hurried by on his way to the kitchen.  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed me, stopped, came back, and said, "Sir, have you been helped?"

     "No, I haven't," I said.  "And I'm in a bit of a hurry.  But all I really want is a salad and maybe a couple of rolls."

     "I can get you that, sir.  What would you like to drink?"

     "I'll have a Diet Coke, please."

     "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, we have Pepsi products.  Would that be all right?"

     "Ah, no thanks", I said with a smile.  "I'll just have water with lemon, please."

     "Great, I'll be back."  He disappeared.

     Moments later he returned with the salad, the rolls, and the water.  I thanked him, and he was quickly gone again, leaving me to enjoy my meal, a satisfied customer.

     Suddenly, there was a blur of activity off to my left, the "wind of enthusiasm" blew behind me, and then, over my right shoulder stretched the "long arm of service" delivering a twenty-ounce, bottle, frosty on the outside, cold on the inside, of - you guessed it - Diet Coke!

     "Wow!" I said.  "Thank you!"

     "You're welcome", he said with a smile, and hurried off again.

     My first thought was Hire this man!  Talk about going the extra mile!  And the more I thought about the outstanding thing he'd just done, the more I wanted to talk to him.  So, as soon as I could get his attention, I waived him over.

     "Excuse me, I thought you didn't sell Coke", I said.

     "That's right, sir, we don't."

     "Well where did this come from?"

     "The grocery store around the corner."  I was taken aback.

     "Who paid for it?"  I asked.

     "I did, sir; just a dollar."

     By then I was thinking profound and professional thoughts like cool!  But what I said was, "Come on, you've been awfully busy.  How did you have time to get it?"  Smiling and seemingly growing taller before my eyes, he said, "I didn't, sir.  I sent my manager!" 

John G. Miller 

Yes, when you’re busy doing the work you’re so good at doing - just send your manager.  Most are willing; some even make good pets. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.