I was a target; but avoided becoming a victim; sharing my lessons learned...

Internet scams surround us all.  There are plenty of "Public Service Announcements" advising us what to avoid and what not to do.  I wanted to share more specifically, exactly what happened to me.  

I was enticed (even though I knew better).  In speaking with the State of Colorado's District Attorney's Office lead investigator after-the-fact, he confirmed that (A) they are the masters of enticing us; appealing to our emotions; seeming authentic even though we should know better, and (B) they know they are "navigating in unpatrolled waters" - In my case, because they were operating out of state, Colorado had no jurisdiction; because I was in Colorado, wherever they were operating from (assuming it was within the USA) the local authorities would not be motivated to act since I was out-of-state; the only cross-jurisdiction authority is the FBI, but unless there was an actual financial loss of multiple millions of dollars, they don't have the resources. 

Because these internet scammers know they are not going to be captured, it's up to you and me to defend ourselves.  Here's my story - I hope it helps you.  Enjoy.

A very common scam

I knew… even though I didn’t want to know.  I hoped it wasn’t… even though I knew it probably was.  They wanted me to go further… I wanted to, too.  But I stopped short.  Still, I wished it wasn’t what I should have known it was and you would have known, too - from the beginning.

We have all heard about these incidents.  When you start to read the following, true story, don’t be too quick to say, “I know”.  They are counting on us to be complacent.  They are counting on being smarter than us.  They are counting on law enforcement to be too busy to enforce this law.  They do it so often, it must be working and I, like you, should know better.  At least I knew sooner if not better and at least the only thing hurt was my pride.

Still, I wished it wasn’t what I should have known it was right off…

He said:

            Hello there.,

> Are you available for writing project?

> Kindly email back for further information and payment per word.

Thanks

Michael

I replied:

Yes, however I am on vacation until February 2nd. Please contact me then or thereafter.

I really was headed out of town.  A road trip to Chicago with my wife, to visit family along with a side trip to Galesburg for a Knox College basketball alumni celebration.  I put Michael’s email in the back of my mind.  If anything, I expected nothing more to come of it.  He had other intentions.

After retiring from fulltime employment in 2022, I entered the “gig economy”.  I updated my LinkedIn profile to show I’m an author and open to content writing assignments.  I was “fishing” for work more than “hunting”, really.  Hunters go out and actively stalk their prey.  Fisherman, at least my kind of fisherman, find a likely location; bait their hook; put their line in the water; and wait for a fish to bite.  My likely location was social media and my bait was my resume of sales and sales enablement, along with my weekly blogs.  

In January of 2023, I got my very first “bite”.  I was excited (cautiously excited perhaps, but excited nonetheless).

Two and a half weeks later Michael wrote back:

            Are you back now

I replied:

            Hello Michael,

Yes, back from our vacation.

            And he said:

                        Glad you are back safe.

Sharing my initial email string with my wife she, being the more level headed one, immediately replied, “scam”.  I too had the same impression, but I really wanted this to be my first paid engagement.  I replied to Michael that I was interested and asked him to provide more detail.  He responded immediately with what, except for a few “little factors”, was almost perfect.  Almost…

Michael offered an excellent description of the proposed writing project…  Social Media: The Benefits and Risks; 2,000 to 2,500 words; an outline of 6 topics to cover; a deadline six weeks out; payment via certified bank check.  Everything he asked I knew not only I could do, but more importantly, I wanted to do.

How prescient the topic, Social Media: The Benefits and Risks.  It came to mind that I could simply write about this true tale of anonymous, electronic contact from a stranger.  The context was within the realm of possibilities, considering how I had positioned my content writing availability on social media.  I was conscious of the risks.  It was the voice of that Unknown Sage in the back of my mind that I couldn’t get rid of:

Conscious - is when you are aware of something.

Conscience - is when you wish you weren't.

And then there were those “little factors”…  Those didn’t involve his initial offer of 1.5¢ per word.  I checked the “How much should I charge” section in The Writer’s Market (an annual reference book devoted to the business and promotion of writing).  1.5¢ was within the pre-word, price point range.  It was at the very bottom of that range, but still it was in the range.  At 2,500 words that would be $37.50. 

I was hoping my writing gigs would be in the $150 to $200 range but as I’ve said, I wanted this first deal.  Talking myself into it I was saying, “Well Gary, you have to start somewhere.”  I wasn’t a published author or known writer.  I didn’t have a portfolio of content writing engagements I could reference.  In fact, I didn’t have any references at all. 

So I continued the email exchange:

Thanks Michael,

Very thorough. The proposed payment is quite a bit lower than my typical project, but I'm interested in the topic and appreciative of your patience.

Would you consider paying a higher rate? And if so, perhaps we can simplify the payment process by going through Venmo or PayPal. (That would save you bank fees on a certified check as well.)

I understand the outline and the timeframe. Can you tell me anything more about the audience?

Finally, I've noted your anonymity. Is it your preference to continue this way?

The elephant in the room…  All I had was an email that was revealed when I hoovered over his sender field that included, “mgkrule147…”.  That made me curious.  I Googled “Magic Rule 147”.  I didn’t like the results.  Then I Googled his full email address.  One of the “hits” brought me to a LinkedIn profile of one Michael Ganze (not his real, fake name), Associate Professor of Clinical Education, Emeritus in the USC Rossier School of Education.  Could he be legit?  There were still those “little factors”.

Before I could continue, I heard back:

Sounds fine to me, Will you be able to finish up before March 20.,Considering the amount to be paid for the job, cashiers check or bank certified checks is our best bet. My sponsor Will proceed with the payment…Please get back to with your details in the format below and the scope and plan of the project will be defined by you and modified by you so that we can best enjoy your assembled word to word writing and point.

1.Full Name( as it should appear on the check)

2.Physical address

3.Mobile number.

The check will be issued and mailed out as soon as I receive these details. Please note that the Article will not be turned in until payment has been delivered and cleared in your account. I await your quick response.

Regards

Michael

Now what?  I turned once again for advice from my wife.  She wasn’t emotionally impacted by this event.  She remained steadfast… “scam”.  That activated the voice once again in the back of my mind: 

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

                                                                                    Emily Jong

Duly noting her instinct, I decided to continue trying to land this “fish” anyway.  She had detected the first “little factor” as I did; Michael’s poor punctuation, grammar, and random capitalization of words; not something you would expect from a college professor in her opinion.  I don’t know.  Have I met college professors that are a bit “absent minded”, or is that just a Hollywood stereotype I’ve accepted?  I pressed on. 

I replied to Michael asking for his full name, address, and phone number to put together a Statement of Work for the engagement.  He responded with, “Michael Ganze” (same as I found in LinkedIn) along with an address and phone number.  Coincidence?  Luck?  Legit?  Or as my wife believed, was this “fish” phishing me? 

Google Maps confirmed there was a building at the address Michael provided.  It was in California, too, same as USC.  Google Street View showed a two-story building with retail shops on the first floor and what appeared to be offices on the second floor.  Looked authentic.  But another “little factor” came to the forefront; he gave his Suite as #5.  Google showed Suites #1 and #3, but no #5.  Hmmm.  It struck me as an almost legitimate address.  

I continued to use online tools to try and decipher who Michael was.  I suppose I could have called him, but now I was concerned about getting “too close to the flame”.  I searched the USC website and found the Dean of Faculty for the USC Rossier School of Education (at least I think I found the website for such an institution and such a Dean).

 

I emailed the Dean: 

Dear Sir:

I have been contacted by Michael Ganze of Torrance, CA for a small, paid creative content writing engagement. Can you confirm please that he is affiliated with your institution as an Associate Professor of Clinical Education, Emeritus in the USC Rossier School of Education?

The Dean emailed me back:

            Mr. Pokorn,

I can confirm that Michael Ganze is Associate professor of Clinnical Education, Emeritus at the USC Rossier School of Education

Yes, I noticed the “Clinnical” typo and the lower case "professor", too.  Was this Dean of a higher education institution simply busy?  Or, was my wife’s “radar” on target – too many grammatical and typographical errors for people of this ilk?

I felt I was committed to the engagement (and if you know me you know I take my commitments seriously).  I created and signed a Statement of Work along with a $75 invoice.  I specifically changed the Statement of Work from listing me by name to listing my company, Penny or a Pound Publishing, LLC.  That didn’t create much of a buffer.  It’s a limited liability corporation entity with a single employee – me.  But I felt better about putting up even a meager defense and emailed the SOW and invoice to Michael …

along with:

By the way... did you find me via social media?

And received this reply:

A friend send your contact to me when I find it uneasy to search and good writer,

Thanks for your time

Noting his worsening grammar, I tried one last time:

Great, thanks! Would you please ask my friend to contact me so I can thank him/her?

And received back:

            Alright I will

So far as you can see this was strictly an email exchange.  No phone conversation; no further inquiry on his part of my competency; no follow up from my referring “friend”; yes, yes, it had “scam” written all over it. But, I had almost 6 weeks before the deadline so I mentally moved into a “what’s the worst that can happen” mode just in case he was actually an actual new client.

My wife was worried that if I deposited their bank check in my account it would somehow give them access to my bank account information.  Since I used my business account which I keep at a minimum balance I was still feeling somewhat OK.  My son and daughter-in-law suggested using Walmart’s check-cashing service to keep my bank account out of the equation altogether.  But surely Walmart would require my driver’s license or some other sensitive piece of identification to protect them from fraud.  

My conundrum was how to cash a $75 check while protecting my identity.  Well I thought, it was only $75.  Afterall, it was going to be my first content writing gig.  If I wanted to break into the field maybe this was a risk I would have to take.

Undaunted, I Googled combinations of Michael’s name along with “fraud” and “scam”.  I also Googled combinations of “cashiers check” and “bank check” with fraud and scam.  Nothing associated with his name surfaced.  But bank check fraud surfaced immediately with the scam of receiving more money than agreed upon with a request to “refund” the difference to the sender.  This was that third “little factor”.  A bank check for a $75 engagement?  Definitely overkill, true?  Now I was leaning towards my wife’s position while still hoping for the best.

These people had my name, home address, email, company name, and phone number.  Still do.  But none of those data elements are secret per se.  Anyone can Google my name and see all of that information online.  I decided there was nothing left to do but wait and see what would happen.

I didn’t have to wait long (bad punctuation and all): 

OMG!!! Payment has been Sent But Sponsors Banker mixed Up the instruction and Sent More than the Amount to you.

            Hello Gary .,

I Just received a sudden payment shipment notification from My sponsor banker and it's kind of complicated and I think there is some confusing issue with the payment amount sent to you and The sponsor Banker already will not get back on time because of some family health issues That come up all of a sudden and that warrant the whole mixed up in the amount sent to you., Please keep me posted as soon as possible and Can you please keep me updated on my mobile for prompt update… ,.

So much for my first engagement.  Sure enough at 8am the next morning a FedEx overnight envelope was delivered to my doorstep.  I received a text from Michael asking me to confirm the receipt.  I wasn’t expecting it so soon.  I was sipping coffee when his text came through.  It had snowed overnight so I looked out the window.  Sure enough, there were footprints in the snow from the street to my front porch.  Opening the front door, there was the FedEx package.

In my mind I knew I was being scammed.  The only question I had was the dollar amount.  Silly me… I was thinking they would send a check for $750 instead of $75 to make the “mistake” look like it was within the realm of feasibility.  Nope.  The check was not from a California bank where Michael supposedly resided either.  It was from the AlaskaUSA Federal Credit Union (with no address or phone number); made out to my company; in the amount of $10,000!  I guess if you’re a crook you might as well go big or go home.

Well, Michael continued to email, text, and now even call me all with quite the sense of urgency.  I “went dark” but carried a degree of fear.  Still do.  I’m hoping they will move on to the next target and leave me be. 

That morning while Michael’s scam was still “in play” (or was it me that was the one still in play) I called the Denver office of the FBI to see if I could get an agent in the loop while things were still active.  As it turns out, agents don’t take phone calls for cybercrime.  Who knew?  I was directed to file a crime report online, which I did.  I received an automated email back acknowledging the report filing and an automated suggestion that I also contact my local police authority. 

I called my county’s Sheriff’s Department.  Yep - you guessed it - same deal.  Sheriff Deputies don’t take calls about cybercrime either.  After completing their online, crime report I received another automated email confirmation that began with:

            “It’s a very common scam.”

And I really wanted to do that writing gig.  

Anyone interested in a $10,000 bank check?  Just Zelle me $75, HaHa!

Minimum Viable…

Why would anyone go into technology sales?  Most deals are lost; most cold-calling doesn't convert; according to past research, 57% of Salespeople surveyed do not believe they will make their quota.  So why go into this unchosen profession?  Well, I like to say sales is what we do when we can’t do anything else. 

In response to the high failure rate and excessive turnover, many technology companies have increased the volume of young, inexperienced sellers they hire.  Many companies then create definitions of a “Minimum Viable Seller” in order to map out onboarding and training programs.  Sort of a “paint by numbers” approach to ensure this high volume of inexperienced sales reps have support to improve their odds of success. 

I like the objective, supportive approach.  Not that there isn’t room for subjective considerations – there are always “exceptions”.  I’m an exception.  There were many situations where I was considered an “out of the box” hire; many managers took a chance on me.  Turned out OK. 

I believe there is a “Minimum Viable” application to the prospects’ side of the equation, too.  Every prospect’s “project” (aka “Sales Opportunity”) must have minimum viable characteristics.  In absence of such criteria, the sales rep is just chasing rainbows. (Before they wash out.) 

To avoid rainbow chasing, many reps are taught to use B.A.N.T.  a qualification technique originating literally from last century.  Budget; Authority; Need; Timeline was developed in the 1960’s by IBM.  This century’s Modern Buyer has seen that rodeo.  Prospects will lie about their B.A.N.T. leading sales reps down that well-worn, path known as the

 “l      o      n      g      g      g              l      o      o      o      s      e”. 

Does Marketing help?  They measure MQL (Marketing Qualified Leads), SQL (Sales Qualified Leads), or SAL (Sales Accepted Leads).  Yet regardless of minimum viable marketing metrics, sales rep quota performance is still moving in the wrong direction.  Maybe marketing could take on some hard quota, LOL! 

Just when we think it can’t get any worse along come the machines.  Website hits; email opens; content downloads; weighted forecasts; logged touches; and every other possible minimum viable data point is accumulated into “CRM” (Customer Relationship Management).  Sales reps enter all this data and more into their machines.  Problem is – customers don’t reside inside those machines. 

Using minimum viable Business Intelligence; Artificial Intelligence; Predictive Analytics; and all other tools on the planet; we still can’t tell if the prospect and their project is real or imagined – without salespeople actually talking with them that is. 

How much time do salespeople spend each day with their machines?  How much time with prospects?  Not even mentioning deal competition, too.  I understand.  If sellers stopped for a moment and thought about all of the known-unknowns and unknown-unknowns on meeting their sales quota they might freak out.  Maybe it’s easier to stay heads-down with the machines.

So why would anyone go into the technology sales profession?  

Well, we do earn a doctorate degree in "people anthropology", becoming versed in what makes us human.  We reach an advanced level of personal and professional acumen.  We enter a lifelong career, mastering communication skills while competing for vast, financial treasures.  We receive trinkets, earn bonuses, and win President’s Club trips along the way.  Plus, we get to be front and center witnessing great people leading great companies to historical events. 

Even with all the obstacles, high failure rate, and the machines, I still believe technology sales qualifies as a Minimum Viable Career. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

A peek inside…

I was writing at the coffee shop recently.  Sharing my opinions and observations has been part of my weekly routine since 2009.  At the coffee shop I was reminded of a topic I first wrote about in 2015.  I thought it would be fun to reshare it today. 

From the beginning I have been conscious on how long it takes me to say what I have to say – or better said – I worry about the impatience of my readers. 

I posted recently about “throwing more words at it” (see Land the Plane).  Since I know I can be verbose when I write my blogs I pay attention to exactly how many words it takes to express myself.  Let me offer you a peek inside… 

600.  The number of words that comprise my posts is 600 – exactly.  Not 599; not 601; each blog must be 600 words.  Truth be told I bang out an initial draft on a particular topic in less than an hour.  Then I typically spend 6-7 more hours editing; re-writing; word-smithing; eliminating words until (A) I like the piece, (B) I think there’s a chance you will enjoy it too, and (C) it is exactly 600 words.  Welcome to my world. (LOL!) 

OK we’re 208 words in, still reading?  I like sharing my personal experiences and observations of this thing we’re engaged in called “life”.  It’s not for self-promotion and certainly not for monetary gain (I haven’t figured out how to peddle these pieces… yet).  I do wonder sometimes whether I’m being read, and if so why: 

People who read me seem to be divided into four groups; Twenty-five percent like me for the right reasons; 25 percent like me for the wrong reasons; 25 percent hate me for the right reasons.  It's the last 25 percent that worries me. 

Robert Frost 

It’s all good, though.  Writing is my way of “thinking out loud”.  I like to pose situations to my readers. Then you can:

·         Read about it briefly (600 words briefly)

·         Quickly decide if it’s of interest

·         And if it is, allow you to observe my thoughts so you can;

o   Determine if I am a blithering idiot offering nothing more than a little comic relief in your day

o   Make you feel good that if I was able to make a living being as inept as you believe I am, there is hope for you

o   Invoke you’re knowledge and experience with the situations I write about helping you to come to the conclusion, “Nice try Gary, that’s not how it works; what you should have done was thus and so…”

o   And as a result provide you the service of reinforcing in your mind what not to do in certain circumstances, which is of equal value 

Sometimes, I might even offer sound advice based on something my wife refers to as common sense and good judgment.  My wife would say I don’t have much of the former, but I believe I have learned where good judgement originates: 

Good judgement comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgement. 

Unknown Sage 

Of course, I hope my readers don’t take my judgements too seriously: 

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own.  You may both be wrong. 

Dandemis 

So there you have it; for better or worse; a 600 word peek inside the process and the paradigm behind these little ditties.  I hope you enjoyed. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Different can be good…

Do you love discussing the tools, tactics, and techniques of professional selling as much as I do?  You might know I’m one of those old fashioned, pain-in-the-@xz types, always looking for improvement.  Maybe it comes from one of my heroes: 

If better is even possible, good is not enough. 

Joe Newton 

Julie Hansen is a colleague and mentor of mine.  I believe she is a believer in being different.  I believe Julie believes in the power of practice and preparation.  She recently posted this on LinkedIn, did you see it? https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7023679324683722753/   

Julie offered a few reasons why some salespeople are willing to accept a less-than-perfect performance.  I would add what I often heard over the years, “I’m too busy”; “There’s no one to practice with”; or my favorite, “Well Gary, I’ve been doing this for 20 years you know.” 

Maybe I was paranoid throughout my career that I wasn’t good enough to be good enough.  Are you extroverted?  Assertive?  Witty?  Quick on your feet?  I wasn’t.  To stand a chance in a competitive world I had to be better prepared than my competition.  You know what?  Turns out the prospect can tell! 

It’s how you show up at the showdown that counts. 

Homer Norton 

Expecting the prospect to give us the benefit of the doubt is not different from our competition; it’s actually the same.  Same is bad; different is good. 

Some salespeople are totally oblivious to the fact that their lack of practice is negatively impacting their performance.  Truthfully, it’s not just in sales.  How many people do you interact with these days who don’t seem to perform their job very well? 

At anything you choose to do, you'll be as good as the practice, drill, and rehearsal you go through before you actually perform the action. 

Tom Hopkins 

OK, you might be thinking, what does different look like?  Well, here’s a little sales coaching from Mahan Khalsa author of Let’s Get Real or Let’s Not Play: 

Take the product off the table and stay focused on the client. 

I’m not saying Mahan is saying that to be different we’re not supposed to talk to the prospect about our products and services.  Trust me, the conversation will eventually turn to our products and services.  It just doesn’t have to start and stay there.  When your prospect finally asks to know more about what your offering, it would be best to do what Julie suggests - be ready to demonstrate how you’ve heard and understood their needs.  

Businesses face real problems today and customer executives appreciate the sales professional who is able to stay focused on the customer.   The real value a salesperson brings is the ability to help a customer solve an important business problem.  Back to Mahan: 

How we sell is a free sample of how we solve. 

If we think about it, a prospect is not actually buying our products or services; they’re buying what our products and services can do: 

If you're selling drills, your prospects really couldn't care less about the drills.  What they actually want are the holes. 

Patrick Renvoise 

Let’s recap… talking to the prospect about the prospect; selling the holes not the drills; then when the camera comes on being totally rehearsed and ready to deliver a perfect presentation; that is what different looks like.  And different is… well… you know. 

Curious - when was the last time a prospect told you you’re different?  

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

A tribute to Shiloh…

The 2023 National Western Stock Show and Rodeo has concluded.  It’s a major event in Denver and it’s also one of the first, big, rodeos to start off the 2023 competitive circuit for the PRCA – Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association as well as the PBR – Professional Bull Riders. 

I’ve written before that I’m no cowboy.  I didn’t even grow up among large farm animals.  A Chicago suburbanite was my childhood and high school setting.  Attending college in rural, western Illinois I do remember that certain aroma constantly permeating the air.  Attending the National Western brought back that vivid memory.  Talk to a rancher, farmer, or cowboy about it and they will usually shrug and say it, “smells like money”. 

I learned about that side of the aroma myself, when my son and wife decided we should adopt wild horses from the Bureau of Land Management.  Adopt we did – 4 mustangs in all.  Our last, Kahlua (on the right), is still grazing in our back yard.  And yes, our backyard, “smells like money”. 

It’s funny how you can bump into horse people these days without even knowing on surface that they are horse people. 

I met a Best-Selling Author recently, Rodney Barker (see www.rodneybarkerauthor.com ).  Turns out we have many things in common; both graduates of Knox College; both college athletes (he played football, I played basketball); both writers (he’s successful, I’m well let’s call it “aspiring”).  We are also both horse people. 

Rodney has extended his affection for horses into quite a unique and beautifully artistic pursuit (see www.trailofpaintedponies.com ).  Further coincidence, Rod’s horse is named Shyloh; mine was named Shiloh. 

I say “was”, because my Shiloh died a couple of years ago.  Heartbreaking as every horse owner knows. 

Another horse owner, Amy Fear-Helbok, a graduate of Westernaires who rode with my son (Westernaires was the organization that introduced our family to the traditions of the American West and the beauty of our wild American Mustangs.  See www.westernaires.org ) posted this tribute on Facebook when her horse died: 

The Rainbow Bridge For Horses 

By the edge of a woods,

at the foot of a hill,

Is a lush, green meadow

where time stands still.

Where the friends of man

and woman do run,

when their time on earth

is over and done.

 

For here, between this world

and the next,

Is a place where

beloved creatures find rest. 

On this golden land,

they wait and they play

Til The Rainbow Bridge

they cross over one day.

 

No more do they suffer,

in pain or in sadness,

For here they are whole,

their lives filled with gladness. 

Their limbs are restored,

their health renewed. 

Their bodies have healed

with strength imbued.

 

They trot through the grass

without even a care,

Til one day they whinny

and sniff at the air. 

All ears prick forward,

eyes sharp and alert.

Then all of a sudden,

one breaks from the herd.

 

For just at that second,

there’s no room for remorse. 

As they see each other…

one person… one horse.

So they run to each other,

these friends from long past

The time of their parting

is over at last.

 

The sadness they felt

while they were apart

Has turned to joy

once more in each heart. 

They nuzzle with a love

that will last forever. 

And then, side-by-side,

                they cross over… together.                                                           

Author Unknown 

I too will reunite with Shiloh one day and cross that bridge. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Luv rules…

Next Tuesday is Valentine’s Day – it’s not too late.  There’s still time to do something special for that special person. 

OK – so I can’t take credit for creating this awesome display of love for my love.  That was someone else’s awesome display of their love for their love.  Can I take “observation credit” for stopping along the roadside while driving through this western Illinois farming community to take the picture?  I think my wife will give me credit for a little kind-hearted, photo-plagiarism because I know she knows: 

Love rules without rules. 

Italian Proverb 

Who says men are oblivious and have no powers of observation?  OK – so a billboard is hard to miss.  Observing that man’s demonstration of love reminds us all that Tuesday, no assumptions; no taking her for granted; no obliviousness; no subtleties are allowed.  On Valentine’s Day, we must shout our love for our love from the top of the mountains!  And yes, we hope our women do the same for the men in their lives: 

You know “That Look” women get when they want sex?  Me neither. 

Steve Martin 

Tuesday may be a special day in my marriage, but our relationship over the years has taken constant care (and patience).  Thankfully, my wife has patience: 

Patience strengthens the spirit,

   sweetens the temper,

      stifles anger,

    extinguishes envy,

  subdues pride,

bridles the tongue,

   restrains the hand,

      and tramples upon temptation. 

George Horne 

It’s easier to be patient with the little things I suppose.   But when times get tough, the most convenient person to argue with, vent to, and take our frustrations out on is often our partner, true?  Life seems to move so fast; people seem to be so stressed; the media inundates us with so many sensationalized issues. 

I don’t know; are meaningful, loving partnerships easier or harder to find these days?  With everything racing at a break-neck pace, who’s responsible for maintaining a healthy, loving, long-lasting relationship?  Well, here’s a view from Wyatt Webb: 

You are 100 percent responsible for 50 percent of any relationship. 

Carrying more than ½ the load you say?  Yep – you and my wife, too. 

Thankfully, my wife and I are still in love after all of these years.  We will do something quiet this Valentine’s Day; we enjoy our quiet time together - always have.  We’re blessed with sharing many common interests, so spending time together and “decompressing” from our fast-paced life is a nice retreat. 

Like you, our conversations will span a variety of topics; children; friends; happy memories; love.  Of course, when we’re together we will also synchronize our calendars; debate upcoming projects; disagree on priorities; discuss business; and almost always review our finances.  Yuck!  Necessary I suppose, but not very romantic. 

Yet this Valentine’s Day I will be reminded: 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

Mignon McLaughlin 

So here’s to February 14^th – Valentine’s Day.  May you enjoy it with someone special in your life.  If you’re lucky enough to be in love, may you cherish your quiet time together; sharing common interests; being patient with life’s challenges; relishing the restorative results of romance. 

And if you’re with someone but you’re not yet sure if he or she is “the one”, don’t worry – trust your gut feeling: 

Love is not finding someone you can live with; it’s finding someone you cannot live without. 

Rafael Ortiz 

Love rules without rules on Valentine’s Day – and every day. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective. 

Land the plane…

I feel that I am similar to you.  When we have an idea, anecdote, or opinion on our mind we like to share it with others, true?  We try to be a patient receiver when we’re on the listening side as well, but we know that can be a challenge. 

In my case, it’s not “what” I have to share but rather “how” I share it that is worrisome.  If you look up the definition of “verbose” you’ll find several definitions.  Perhaps the most appropriate for today’s purpose is: 

Wordy 

Guilty.  

I’d like you to know that I’m not blind to my tendency to “throw more words at it”.  That’s a common trait many salespeople have.  When we don’t know the answer to a prospect’s question, when there is dead space, or when we’re nervous, we have a tendency to hold onto the talking stick too long.  

I bet you’ve been in that situation on the “buy-side” of a sales presentation.  You ask the salesperson a question and after sitting through a lengthy, sometimes confusing, occasionally contradicting response you decide not to ask any more questions for fear you’ll have to bring in dinner before the sales rep leaves. 

I’m retired from the technology sales profession now, but still selling.  I prefer to think of it as story-telling.  Either way, deep down inside I want my audience to listen to me and to like what I have to say.  I bet you do, too.  Thanks to a long-time friend of mine, Debbie Ryder, now I can tell.  She cued me during lunch recently.  I was relating something or other I thought was of interest.  When I started heading down the wordy path she smiled and said, “Gary, land the plane.” 

Similar feedback was offered by my friends Pat and Monica.  Two steps involved with preparing to self- publish my book, The Peace and Power of a Positive Perspective, are a “Summary” as well as “About” the author.  After sending them a draft they responded firmly and politely, “wordy”.  

I suppose my readers (all readers really) take a different approach with writers; even apologetic writers: 

I apologize for writing such a long letter. I didn’t have the time to write you a short one. 

Pascal   

Readers simply stop reading, yes?  Here’s a test… how many of your incoming emails and instant messages do you read start to finish?  Makes one want to tell the writer, “Land the plane”.  This is not a new phenomenon, just ask Norman R. Augustine: 

There are those individuals, both outside the federal government and inside, who are endowed with that special talent to take fairly lucid concepts and, through subtle embellishment, make them very nearly incomprehensible. 

Ah yes, embellishment, guilty again.  But in my defense, it’s not because I’m oblivious to my verbosity: 

If I am to speak for ten minutes, I need a week for preparation; if fifteen minutes, three days; if half an hour, two days; if an hour, I am ready now. 

Woodrow Wilson 

I try to heed the advice from Pascal and Norm Augustine.  I’ve read much about Abraham Lincoln.  Sometimes I worry that he was referring to me: 

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met. 

Abraham Lincoln 

So if you find one of my little ditties is too wordy for a small idea, please feel free to hit reply and say, “Gary, land the plane”. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.