Now I’m no “consultant”…

When I retired recently to focus on writing, I received several requests to do a little consulting.  Many of my Partners asked me to help them increase their firm’s sales.  Evidently, they consider me some sort of expert.  What a wonderful compliment! 

It’s true that throughout my career I had the privilege to work for; and learn from; some of the finest sales organizations around.  I coached many terrific sales professionals, too.  I suppose that makes me qualified. I was even an independent contractor once - but I’m no “consultant”, HaHa! 

I like to poke fun at consultants.  I’m not the only one.  Here’s what Norman R. Augustine, the former head of Martin Marietta said: 

A consultant is an individual handsomely paid for telling senior management of problems, about which senior management’s own employees have told the consultant.

Asking your employees what can be done to improve things?  Hmmm…  In Corporate America bringing in an outside consultant is still the way things are often done, yes?  I’ve heard a consultant described as some guy from out of town, with a briefcase.  There’s a standard I could meet. 

Bringing former employees back after their retirement to help solve problems is nothing new either.  Here’s an example from our favorite Unknown Sage:  

Charles Steinmetz (1865-1923) was a pioneering genius in harvesting electricity.  After he retired, Steinmetz's former employers at General Electric occasionally relied on his brilliance.

     Such was the case when an intricate set of machines broke down.  In-house experts could not find the cause of this malfunction so GE leaders called Steinmetz.

     After testing various parts, Steinmetz finally pinpointed the problem and marked the defective part with a piece of chalk.  Steinmetz then submitted a bill for $10,000.

     Surprised at this unexpected high price, GE honchos asked Steinmetz to resubmit an itemized statement.  He complied with a new invoice that listed only two items: 

                         Invoice 

Making one chalk mark:        $     1.00

Knowing where to place it:    $ 9,999.00

That’s one way to come up with a consulting fee. 

I suppose there are worse things than bringing in outside consultants or bringing back former employees; especially at large companies.  There is that notorious group called “Corporate”!  Back to Norman: 

Corporate Staff: 

Known in some quarters as Sea Gulls for reasons relating to their propensity to fly round the country leaving their mark wherever they have alighted.

Many of us have been exposed to these Corporate Staff types, true?  Yep - another opportunity to poke fun.  You remember; this is one of the “great lies”.  Back to our Unknown Sage: 

     Hi, I’m from Corporate, and I’m here to help. 

I suppose it’s always easier to tell someone else what they have to do to improve.  It’s a bit harder for us to look in the mirror and ask what we should do better.  If employees tried a little harder at self-improvement, maybe their companies would spend less money on outside consultants.  Maybe the employees would benefit from this cost savings - have a few more team-building events; more training to improve their skills; maybe even a few more company outings. 

Here’s an idea from Rick Levine who wrote The Cluetrain Manifesto ©: 

If you're given a choice between bringing in a consultant or beer, choose the beer. 

So if I ever return from retirement to help some of my clients, please don’t call me a “consultant”.  (And please don’t mention the beer idea either, OK?) 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.