To Dad…

Happy Father’s Day this coming Sunday!  Aren’t fathers and grandfathers great?  The memory of my father still brings a proud smile to my face (and my heart!).  If you’re lucky enough to have living fathers and grandfathers, give them a hug Sunday.  I bet they’ll smile. 

My Dad smiled a lot.  He had a zest for life!  He was a “Depression Baby”; outlived his parents; twelve siblings; and even his wife (who died all too young in her fifties after a long battle with cancer).  I think these experiences and others made a deep impression on my Dad.  He decided to love life, come what may, for as long as he could.  He laughed easily.  We should all be so lucky. 

He suffered a debilitating back injury… it was in the midst of a Chicago winter and he was shoveling his driveway.  He was 86 years old.  His next door neighbor got stuck in the snow pulling into her driveway.  My Dad, ever the can-do mindset, motioned her to wait and he would help.  After unburying her front tires he went around to the back of her car and pushed while she slowly accelerated up her driveway and ultimately into her garage. 

Turns out my Dad partially crushed four vertebrae in his lower back pushing that car.  He was never the same.  Too old for back surgery he was eventually confined to a wheelchair.  Had to move from his house to assisted living and then nursing care.  All the while he maintained that gleam in his eye when he was around care givers, other patients, and visits from family and friends.  He died in his sleep at the age of 91. We should all be so lucky. 

The older I get the more appreciative I am of the love and devotion I received from my father.   He wanted his sons to make a difference.  He also wanted us to be patient with his quirks.  I remember after my Mom died, my Dad ate dinner at the hospital cafeteria two blocks from his house.  It might have been for the convenience; maybe for the memory of the last place he saw his wife alive. 

He was present every evening for over twenty years.  So long, that the employees all thought Al Pokorn actually worked for the hospital.  One summer, he was even invited to the company picnic.  I didn’t mind this innocent charade, but when he won a TV in the employee raffle, I told him he had to give it back! 

We are all a little quirky I suppose: 

I get to be the grandfather now.  Being the grandfather has responsibilities, too: 

Sometimes the only difference we can make is passing our wisdom on to someone else who will make the bigger difference. 

Linda B. Gray 

Today when my children or grandchildren use one of my quirky, little sayings, or demonstrate a family value or tradition that has been passed down from father to son, it brings a proud smile to my face (and my heart)!  I’m a lucky man. 

So, here’s to my Dad; and your Dad; and everyone’s Dad.  Their quirks and family values have helped us all make a difference.  Especially their zest for life - a tradition to be passed down. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.