Self-Sufficient?

Throughout my sales career, I prided myself on being (mostly) self-sufficient.  I say mostly because there were specific elements in my selling cycle where I accepted help – lots of help. 

First, I had great teammates in the role called “Systems Consultant”, “SC”, or generally “Pre-Sales”.  They are product and technology experts.  When the prospect asked a capabilities questions, even when I knew the answer, I deferred.  I knew as the salesman, my credibility could be suspect. The prospect always preferred answers from Subject Matter Experts. 

At the other end of the sales cycle, I rarely “closed the deal”.  I was skilled at it but closing simply wasn’t the part I enjoyed.  I was an excellent “opener”, a prospector, a “hunter” and I enjoyed the “hunt” more than I enjoyed the “kill”.  I usually turned control of the closing cycle over to my sales managers or company executives.  Imploring them not to screw things up, I pursued the next deal.  The best part was the commissions paid were the same! 

The third element to my lack of total self-sufficiency was caused by my curiosity.  I asked my prospects, “Why?” throughout our interactions.  I genuinely wanted to understand.  They welcomed my approach.  It was refreshing vs. my competitors constantly trial closing. 

To show their appreciation, my prospects would, "put their arm around my shoulder” and say, “Gary, let me help you.”  Then, they would tell me exactly what they planned to buy; why; how much they would pay; who I was competing against; when they would sign; and who was involved in the approval process.  All a result of genuinely asking, “Why?” 

What I learned later in life is being 100% self-sufficient causes ill effects.  A close companion of self-sufficiency in our career, and in our life, is: 

            Success Addiction 

          The feeling of never enough 

                        Unknown Sage

Ever feel that “never enough” feeling?  Does it keep you continuously connected?  Are you never “away” from your cell phone?  Do you bring work on vacation?  (I know – just “checking in”, right?) 

Turns out if we’re not careful – and during the height of my sales career I wasn’t careful – success addiction can lead us back to our Sage: 

The burden of self-sufficiency: 

• We set punishing performance standards for ourselves

• We have a compulsive work ethic

• We carry sadness and failure alone

It’s that last element, … “carrying sadness and failure alone”, that has become increasingly visible to me as I age.  The weight gets heavier if we let it: 

Success has many fathers while failure is an orphan. 

Russian Proverb 

Today, I’m trying to put my pride aside and accept help.  I want to eliminate “punishing performance standards”.  It’s time to dial down my effort.  I don’t want to keep beating myself up over failure.  At this point, I’m (finally) trying to become less self-sufficient. 

There’s so much more to life, true? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.