Highly sensitive?

At my “last” company (meaning before I retired), our managers explored the team’s emotional intelligence.  Using an assessment from the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 ©, we determined our initial score (e.g. “EQ”).  I wondered if they were sending me a message.  What if I failed the assessment, I feared.

Surprisingly my EQ score is high.  I did discover the likely foundation for my fear-of-failure from another source.  You might think it’s unusual for a career salesman.  Even so, it’s me: 

Fear of failure is actually overrated as an excuse… What people are afraid of isn’t failure.  It's blame.  Criticism. 

Seth Godin  

Though I passed the assessment it turns out I’m highly sensitive: 

Nine Signs You’re a Highly Sensitive Person:

You think deeply. When life throws you a curve-ball, you retreat deep into your shell, thinking through every aspect of what transpired before taking any action. Small things can have a big impact on you.

You’re detail-oriented. You’re as sensitive to details as you are to feelings. You see details that others miss, and you aren’t content until you’ve dotted all the i’s and crossed the t’s.

You take longer to reach decisions. Since you’re prone to dig deep beneath the surface, you tend to drag out decisions. You can’t help but try to run every possible outcome through your head.

You’re crushed by bad decisions. When you finally make a decision, and it turns out to be a poor choice, you take it much harder than most. This can create a vicious cycle that slows down your decision-making process even more.

You’re emotionally reactive. When left to your own devices, you have a knee-jerk reaction to your feelings. You also have strong reactions to what other people are going through.

You take criticism harshly. Your strong feelings and intense emotional reactions can make criticism hard to take. Though you may overreact to criticism initially, you also have the tendency to think hard about things and explore them deeply. This exploration of criticism can play out well for you in the long run.

You work well in teams. Your unique ability to take other people’s feelings into account, weigh different aspects of multifaceted decisions, and pay attention to the smaller details makes you extremely valuable in a team environment.

You have great manners. Your heightened awareness of the emotions of other people makes you highly conscientious. You pay close attention to how your behavior affects other people and have the good manners to show for it.

Open offices drive you crazy. Your sensitivity to other people, loud noises, and other stimuli makes it practically impossible for you to work effectively in an open-office environment. You’re better off in a cube or working from home. 

Dr. Travis Bradberry 

For me, attributes 1-6 are spot on; 7 is “iffy”; I’ll leave 8 for others to determine; as for 9, I actually enjoy the commotion of an open office environment.  All tallied; I’m highly sensitive. 

What about you?  Ever assessed your EQ?  Don’t be afraid, it’s a worthwhile exercise. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

“Feedback”…

I recently wrote about the fine line of accountability (https://gpokorn.blogspot.com/2025/11/fine-line.html).  Accountability requires feedback.  Offering feedback is a management skill.  As any skill, it needs to be practiced and applied with care to be effective. 

But do all sales managers provide effective feedback, or any feedback at all for that matter?  According to renowned business executive Larry Bossidy, no:

Managers say they hesitate to give critical feedback because they:

• Are afraid of hurting feelings or demoralizing employees - even prompting them to quit.
• Are concerned about appearing arrogant or abrasive.
• Are uncomfortable giving bad news or find it easier to give only positive news.
• Are not sure they're 100 percent right.
• Worry about a defensive reaction.
• Work in a polite organization where critical feedback isn't given.
• Don't like to judge other people.

When I give feedback, I'm signaling to people that I'm interested in their future. 

                             Larry Bossidy 

I was always interested in my salespeople’s future.  I was taught in my first sales manager role about the skills involved with giving feedback.  The teacher?  Linda Richardson when she was in the early years of leading what became Richardson Sales Performance, a global leader in sales training. 

Remembering and applying my training, I went on to develop a particular style of offering feedback to my salespeople. Permit me to share. 

Feedback starts with observation 

I can’t comment if I wasn’t present.  Focused on observing.  Not “jumping in” to help sell.  Never multi-tasking.  I can’t emphasize the power of observation enough. 

Then self-assessment 

I asked, “If you had to do it over, what if anything would you do different?”  The sales rep knows what they’re trying to do.  When they describe needed improvements they can’t argue with themself.  BTW – it’s OK for them to say they wouldn’t do a thing differently when the sales call went well. 

Then I test with, “How I can help?”  

Asking for permission enables the sales rep to set the blunt-to-gentle-dial of their tolerance.  Sometimes we as individuals are not open to feedback.  If my rep denied permission, I (tried) to move on.  Nothing worse than trying to coach the unwilling.  Easy to blog about; hard to do in the real world, LOL! 

Finally, provide feedback  

Specific; objective; actionable.  Did I say specific? 

Specificity is a killer app. 

As for quantity, I (tried) to identify 3 things.  Positive or negative, 3 things is about the limit of someone openly receiving feedback.  Any more and the experience can move from effective to a waste of effort (or worse).           

Feedback. In sales management, “less is more.” 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Common enemies…

“OK Pokorn”, you might say, “How does that title correlate with peace and positivity?”  Well, there is actually great power found in emotional negativity that can appeal to the greater good. 

Sunday, America will remember Pearl Harbor Day.  Eighty-four years ago, December 7, 1941, an emotionally charged, negative event occurred that summoned a powerful, driving force for the greater good.  Factually, according to Google: 

2,335 Americans died and 1,143 were wounded. 

Not remarkable in the annals of bloody combat, or even the bloody headlines of today, true?  But the highly-charged, political discourse that followed, epitomized by President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “Infamy Speech”, (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infamy_Speech ) united our country against common enemies.

Are negative emotions always a force for the greater good?  With the difficult events that have occurred almost daily throughout 2025 I worry we are becoming our own common enemies. 

The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them. 

Albert Einstein 

Are we willing to think differently? 

I always feel good when everyone says I'm nuts because it's a sign that we're trying to do something innovative. 

Larry Ellison 

Thinking differently may offer us hope, but different does not have to be radical; dis-uniting;  or mean-spirited.  I believe thinking differently can create friends and allies.  However, too much “different” can be bad.  Back to Larry: 

On the other hand, when people say you’re nuts, you just might be nuts… You don't want people saying you’re nuts too often - once every three or four years is good.  Any more than that, and you should be worried because no one's smart enough to have a good idea more than once every three or four years. 

In business we’ve seen power when a company unites against common enemies.  Steve Jobs famously crusaded to be taken seriously.  The common enemy was the adversity of marketplace disrespect.  That negative driving force drove Apple to astronomical heights. 

"ADVERSITY”: 

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents, which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. 

Horace 

The American Red Cross was inspired by the carnage of our Civil War.  This powerful organization is also untied against common enemies – the devastated; the wounded; the needy; the destitute.  

Yes, there are many common enemies that can stimulate negative, emotional reactions enabling us to harness power for the greater good:  

In every community, there is work to be done. 

In every nation, there are wounds to heal. 

In every heart, there is the power to do it. 

Marianne Williamson 

Here’s to Pearly Harbor Day and all the power it generated to propel our country forward in the face of common enemies.  How will we propel America and our fellow Americans, forward this December in the face of today’s common enemies?  

Yes Marianne - in every community, there is work to be done.  In our hearts we all have the power to do it! 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

 

Giving thanks…

Thanksgiving remind us of our blessings, yes?  Before I go any further permit me to say, “Thank you”! 

Thank you for reading me.  Thank you for commenting on my little ditties.  Thank you for respecting my viewpoints.  Thank you for buying my book.  Thank you for encouraging me to continue. 

I can’t count all that I am thankful for; nor all of the times I have wanted to thank someone for their kindness.  But I am thankful for sure.  Thankfully, smart people have put counting in perspective: 

Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted. 

Albert Einstein 

I’m thankful for living in Denver – most of the time anyway: 

Welcome to Denver: 

The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00 AM. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 PM.  Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.  Denver has its own version.  The car or truck with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop.  The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.  Blue-haired, green-haired, or cranberry-haired ladies driving anything have the right of way all of the time.

North and South only vaguely resemble the real direction of certain streets.  University and Colorado are two boulevards that run parallel.  Geometry evidently not working at altitude, these streets intersect south of C470.

Highway 285 runs North, South, East and West and every direction in between; it can be found in every section of the Denver area making navigation very interesting.  You can turn west onto southbound 285; you can turn north onto westbound C470; and you can drive southeast on the Northwest Parkway.  This is why Denver uses the additional driving directions of “out”, “up”, “in”, “down”, and sometimes “over”.

Construction barrels are permanent, and are simply moved around in the middle of the night to make the next day’s drive more challenging.  When you see an orange cone, you must stop and then move ahead slowly until there are no more cones.  There need not be construction, just cones.

If someone has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been accidentally activated.

If it’s 70 degrees, Thanksgiving is probably next week; if it’s snowing, it’s probably the weekend after Memorial Day.

If you stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended or cussed-out.  A red light means four more cars can go through.  Not three; not five.  Four.  Never honk at anyone.  Ever.  Seriously.  Never yield at a “Yield” sign.  The yield sign is like an appendix; it once had a purpose but nobody can remember what it was.

Just because a street on the east side of town has the same name as a street on the west side of town doesn’t mean they’re connected. 

Unknown Sage 

Thankfully we can celebrate with family, friends, food, and fun and a little football during the Thanksgiving holiday.  Permit me to share my favorite quote: 

Thank you Lord.  I may never have a lot; but I have always had enough. 

May He bless you, too. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.