Give – without being asked…

If you’re like me, we are asked to give frequently, true?  I understand solicitation.  It’s a bad word, right?  It even warrants signs on home and office doors.  Bad, unless you’re in the sales profession.  Oh well, rejection comes with the territory: 

Many of us give without being asked.  Just look at this post; just peruse online sites.  All kinds of opinions and advice are given without being asked.  My posts included.  Oh, the challenges of free speech: 

What this country needs is more free speech worth listening to. 

Lawrence J. Peter  

According to AI, the word “gift” shares a “direct-root-and-action relationship” with “giving”.   We all engage in giving without being asked every day; several times each day; and our recipients appreciate our gifts. 

Giving a smile to a stranger we pass in the aisle at a store.  Giving a “Thank You” wave to the driver that lets us merge in front of them on the highway.  Giving a, “Have a nice day.” to a friend, neighbor, co-worker, and client.  Giving a hug to our loved ones.  Think about all of the giving we give to others – and in turn, receive in kind. 

You may think these don’t make up for the unwanted “giving” we receive on social media; the hype; the hate; the half-truths.  Perhaps we need reminding that all of the giving we give each other each day; all of the small courtesies; all of the little pleasantries; all together, en masse, makes us who we are.  It’s not one big thing.  It’s all of the little things we can easily think are at the margins: 

Execute passionately.  Marginal tactics executed passionately almost always will out perform brilliant tactics executed marginally. 

Harry Beckwith 

We witnessed passion during the World Cup on the pitch and in our cities.  World Cup visitors told stories of Americans being a nation of courtesy; friendliness; and a lot of fun!  They noticed perhaps that we say “Thank you” easily and often without being asked.  Barry J. Nalebuff gave us a list for business: 

Nine Tips on Saying, “Thank You”: 

• Say, “Thank You” in kind, not cash.

• Save the best, “Thank You” for your best customers.

• Say, “Thank You” in a way that builds your business.

• Don’t say, “Thank You” too quickly, or too slowly.

• Say you’re going to say, “Thank You.”

• Recognize that you may have to compete for loyalty.

• Allow your competitors to have loyal customers, too.

• Don’t forget to say, “Thank You” even if you have a monopoly.

• Say, “Thank You” to your suppliers as well as to your customers.” 

Giving without being asked delineates who we are and who we are not.  Americans are a diverse people united in compassion and understanding.  We are not separate tribes at war with each other.  So, “Thank You!” for allowing me to give you this post.  I know I wasn’t asked for it. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

 

Goals - warning!

In reading Steve Forbes’ book, How Capitalism Will Save Us ®, I didn’t think I would like it before I started.  I must admit though, he caught my interest.  Warning!  His style is blunt and aggressive.  Come to think of it, an undergraduate at MSU Denver I was in a working group with told me I’m blunt and aggressive.  But I digress… 

As I said, I was skeptical right from the title; right from the Preface.  You see, I have a bias about rich capitalists defending capitalism.  I mean, we don't typically hear a blue collar, “under class” person defending capitalists and capitalism.  I’m more in alignment with this warning for business schools as written in the book Drive®: 

Goals… Business school professors suggest they should come with their own warning label: Goals may cause systematic problems for organizations due to narrowed focus, unethical behavior, increased taking, decreased cooperation, and decreased intrinsic motivation.  Use care when applying goals to your organization. 

Daniel H. Pink

 “… narrowed focus, unethical behavior, increased taking…”  sounds like today’s corporations headed by… yep… capitalists, true?

On the other hand, when I Googled what the goal is of the free market Steve Forbes refers to, the response surprised me:

 “… to efficiently allocate resources to satisfy consumer demand while promoting economic growth and individual freedom.  By minimizing government intervention, it allows supply, demand, and competition to determine prices and production, which aims to maximize prosperity and innovation.” 

“… promoting economic growth and individual freedom…”  Hard to argue with that!

Forbes doesn’t sugar coat the reality that a free market is brutal; people lose jobs; companies go out of business.  He simply emphasizes that the subsequent employment, emerging businesses, and ultimate impact on Americans’ lives is positive.  He also emphasizes today we are not “… minimizing government intervention…” Steve claims capitalism it is totally better than government over-intervention.  I think Wicker agrees: 

Wicker's Law 

Government expands to absorb revenue, and then some. 

Unknown Sage 

That is how I feel today towards our federal government.  State, county, and local governments, too!  The “revenue” they are absorbing is our tax dollars.  I’ve never heard of a blue collar, “under class” person defending higher taxes, either.  

Do you think Joseph A. Tainter’s book, The Collapse of Complex Societies ®, is an accurate warning for today’s circumstances? 

… bad government is a normal cost of government. 

Maybe Stave Forbes has a good point about the benefits of the free market goals we should strive for, after all. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Make the best of it…

It was the county fairgrounds in Vernal, Utah in 1999.  I was with my son’s Westernaires’ team.  They’re a traveling, equestrian, performance, drill team of teenagers and we were there for the Vernal Dinosaur Days Rodeo.  It was July and it was hot! 

Temperatures in Vernal, Utah can reach 110º and even higher during July.  I’m pictured along with 3 other Dads.  We were volunteer “Barn Men”.  Our job?  Sleep in the barn overnight with 75 or so horses that traveled with my son’s team.  We were making the best of it. 

Throughout the day, in between performances, we stayed out of the sun and tried to stay as cool as possible.  The barn wasn’t air conditioned.  Maybe horses are used to 100+ degree heat.  Dad’s?  Well, thankfully, we found a kiddy pool at the local Walmart to soak our feet and decided to follow Charles L. Bromley’s advice:

Why not make the best of things?  Any fool can make the worst of them.

During the kids’ were performances, we were out there in the sun with them.  Helping with costume changes; being in the arena if a horse spooked; making sure the kids (and the horses) stayed hydrated in the heat. 

When they asked me to be a volunteer, Barn Dad, I said, “I don’t know anything about being with horses in a barn overnight.”  Their response was, “That’s OK.  The horses do.” 

So, there I was.  Sleeping on a cot in a barn with a herd of horses overnight.  It wasn’t hard.  The kids made sure the horses were fed and watered before they turned in.  They slept in the gymnasium at a local school.  My wife was one of several parents who chaperoned the boys and girls on the Westernaires traveling team.                                                                                   

I bet you’ve been in those situations, too.  Maybe a company dinner with your spouse.  You don’t know anybody and all they talk about is business.  But there you are – smile on your face, beverage (or plural) in your hand, making the best of it. 

It’s very satisfying to look back and remember doing something nice for someone you love, true?  It could be as simple as cleaning the bathroom, making the bed, running to the grocery store, or emptying the dishwater.  All those little things can make a big difference. 

And if you’re asked one day to sleep in a barn with your child’s horse, don’t worry.  Just make the best of it.  The horse knows what to do and it will be worth it! 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Tough topic today…

It’s always been a tough topic.  It takes tough people to deal with it.  Let’s you and I be tough today.  According to research:

 

Mental health has grown to be an outsized problem in the United States, with 90% of Americans saying it is now a crisis.

Let’s also be more aware when we ask someone, “How are you doing?”  If we hear, “Alright” that can mean so much more.  It does for Eric.  

 

Eric is the toughest person I know. When you greet him with, “Hi. How you doing?”  he almost always replies, “Alright”.

 

I have known him for 50 years this coming Monday. Over that period Eric’s Mom and Dad have shared some of his most joyous occasions and some of his most upsetting events. In between these highs and lows Eric would tell you that he has been doing alright. It shows how amazing he truly is.

 

Eric isn’t like the rest of us. Merely getting up and facing the day; every day; takes enormous strength. He offers no excuses – never has. Eric has earned success and experienced failure. No matter; Eric treats each day anew, the best he possibly can.

 

You see, Eric suffers from Bipolar Disorder. He lives every day with this unwelcome guest. Medical science is not much help. Bipolar Disorder is an affliction of the brain, very difficult to properly diagnose and almost impossible to treat. Trial and error, mostly. People like Eric with Bipolar Disorder typically wind up dealing with this on their own.

 

For most of us, we migrate from the “poles” of our highest highs to our lowest lows slowly; with long, “recovery” spans of feeling average in between. Unfortunately, Eric is different. His mood “Rapid Cycles”, swinging back and forth, between euphoric highs and debilitating lows in minutes. Picture your life with his type of mood swings – as if our other challenges aren’t enough to deal with.

 

Most people with Bipolar Disorder can’t hold steady employment. Eric can, although job changes are frequent in his world. He is a skilled tradesman; a licensed electrician. Most people with Bipolar Disorder can’t live independently. Eric does. If you met him, you would never know the internal turmoil he lives with. He has a pleasant personality; a nice sense of humor; knowledgeable of current events; just like the rest of us.

 

No, I don’t have Bipolar Disorder, but it’s a huge part of my life. I see first-hand the toughness Eric has as he lives with it every day. Eric is my son and I’m proud of him. One day I hope to learn the source of his amazing toughness so I too can be doing, ”alright”.

Happy 50^th birthday, Eric.  I love you!  Dad

 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.