Mental Health

Tough topic today… it’s always been a tough topic.  And it takes tough people to deal with it.  According to research: 

Mental health has grown to be an outsized problem in the United States, with 90% of Americans saying it is now a crisis.

Let’s be more aware when we ask someone, “How are you doing?”  If we hear, “I’m doing alright” it can mean so much more.  Like Eric: 

I have known Eric for 48 years May 18th – his birthday.  Over that period Eric’s Mom and Dad have shared some of his most joyous occasions and some of his most upsetting events.  In between these highs and lows Eric would tell you that he has been doing alright.  For Eric, doing alright shows how amazing he truly is. 

You see, Eric is the toughest person I know.  I’ll give you an example.  Close your eyes and return to the happiest day of your life – feel how you felt during your most exhilarating moments.  OK, now think back to how you felt on your saddest, darkest, most depressed day ever.  Set those mental bookmarks in your mind’s eye.  There is an unbelievably wide and powerful range of human emotion, yes? 

For most of us, we migrate from our highest highs to our lowest lows slowly; with long, “recovery” spans of simply feeling average in between.  Unfortunately, Eric is different.  His mood swings back and forth, between euphoric highs and debilitating lows in a matter of minutes - multiple times - every hour!  Now picture your life with his type of mood swings – as if our other challenges aren’t enough to deal with. 

Rapid Cycling – that’s the term for Eric and others who suffer from Bi-Polar Disorder.  Eric lives every day with this unwelcome guest.  Medical science is not much help.  Bi-Polar Disorder is an affliction of the brain, very difficult to properly diagnose and treat.  Trial and error, mostly.  That means people with Bi-Polar Disorder typically wind up dealing with this on their own. 

Most can’t hold down a steady job.  Eric can – and he has consistently been a “go to” person for his company.  He is a skilled tradesman; good with customers; dependable; hard working; shows up no matter what; a positive attitude; an outlook that no job is too tough; that’s Eric.  Most people with Bi-Polar Disorder can’t live independently.  Eric does – and if you met him, you would never know the internal turmoil that lives with him.  He has a pleasant personality; a nice sense of humor; knowledgeable of current events; just like the rest of us. 

But Eric isn’t like the rest of us.  Merely getting up and facing the day; every day; takes enormous strength.  He offers no excuses – never has.  Eric has earned success and experienced failure.  No matter; Eric treats each day anew, the best he possibly can. When you greet him with, “Hi. How you doing?”  you will almost always hear him say, “I’m doing alright”. 

If Eric is tough enough to be “alright” each and every day even though feeling uncontrollable mood swings – should we do any less? 

No, I don’t have Bi-Polar Disorder, but it lives next door. Although I don’t have it, I can see first-hand the toughness Eric has as he lives with it.  Eric is my son and I’m proud of him.  One day I hope to learn the source of his amazing toughness so I too can be, “doing alright”. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

47 seconds…

May I offer you a test today?  Odds are, you won’t pass.  (To be fair, maybe it’s my writing that will fail.)  On average, it will take 3.2 times the amount of typical attention span to read these 600 words. That’s 151 seconds.  If I were a betting man, I’d bet you won’t make it all the way through before clicking on another screen or app.  Ready?  GO! 

I read an article in the USA Today recently about our shortening attention spans.  Couple that with a Google search that suggests we, on average, read 238 words per minute and the clock is ticking before our urge to switch to something else. 

The article, citing research by Gloria Mark, Chancellor’s Professor in the Department of Informatics at the University of California Irvine (that’s a mouthful!), suggests our online attention span has shortened to 47 seconds.  That’s 47 seconds!  Are you still paying attention?  I get it: 

My mind often wanders and sometimes leaves me altogether. 

Unknown Sage 

There’s much wild excitement these days about artificial intelligence.  ChatGBT is all the rage when it comes to writing things.  Pretty soon there will be a reading side to AI so machines can write to other machines that read while we humans sit on the sideline and… what?  If we’re no longer writing or reading I guess we’ll simply sit in front of our phone and watch pictures and videos of artificial entertainment fly by – every 47 seconds. 

I understand.  It’s hard to pay attention in “modern” times (and you already passed 47 seconds worth of reading time – still there?).  We face lots of distractions.  And asking someone to give you their “undivided attention” is a fantasy, true?  Based on personal experience, I certainly hope our medical surgeons are able to buck the attention span trend.  Although even in the operating theater machines are playing a larger role:

This phenomena of shortening attention spans was predicted long ago.  The shift of technology in the marketplace to “Cloud Computing” has enabled “more, better, faster” to an amazing degree.  Joe Weinman, when he was the Strategic Solutions Sales VP for AT&T Global Business Services (another mouthful!) in 2008 developed his “10 Laws of Cloudonomics”.  Here’s number eight: 

Cloudonomics Law #8: Dispersion is the inverse square of latency. 

Reduced latency — the delay between making a request and getting a response — is increasingly essential to delivering a range of services, among them rich Internet applications, online gaming, remote virtualized desktops, and interactive collaboration such as video conferencing. However, to cut latency in half requires not twice as many nodes, but four times. For example, growing from one service node to dozens can cut global latency (e.g., New York to Hong Kong) from 150 milliseconds to below 20. However, shaving the next 15 milliseconds requires a thousand more nodes.                                                           

OK. Looking for a machine now to help me understand the math.  But I get it (I think).  We all like things fast; the faster the better.  And we like things easy.  And we’d prefer them to be cheap.  Add those three elements up and what do we get?  Machines. 

AI doesn’t have the need for fast – they’re already fast.  Machines don’t worry about easy because, well, they’re machines.  As far as the money goes, people today seem to be willing to pay almost any amount of bit coins (aka artificial money) for fast and easy so long as it only takes 47 seconds. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Moms are special…

My Mom was special - I bet your Mom is (or was) special, too.  Sunday May 12^th is Mother’s Day.  In mind; in memory; or in person; be sure to make it a special day for your Mom.  Sending flowers is not enough.  Make her the center of your attention, even if only for one day.

My wife is a special Mom.  She continues to lovingly mother our grown boys and our grandchildren even while their father worries, “How do I get all of these kids off the payroll?”  But I digress.  She keeps our entire, extended family together. 

Our Moms have a special sense of humor: 

A wife invited some people to dinner.  At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”  I wouldn’t know what to say”, the girl replied.  “Just say what you hear Mommy say”, the wife answered.  The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?” 

Unknown Sage                                

Our Moms are special teachers.  Remember the life-long lessons you learned from your Mother?  Back to our Unknown Sage: 

What my Mother taught me: 

My Mother taught me logic;

“Because I said so, that's why.”

My Mother taught me irony;

“Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about.”

My Mother taught me about the science of osmosis:

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" 

Even Bill Gates has a take (including Mom and Dad in his reference to his parents - and ours): 

Excerpt from Bill Gates' speech to Mount Whitney High School, Visalia, CA: 

Rule 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't

as boring as they are now.  They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.  So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room. 

Our Moms have a special and immeasurable reservoir of power, true?  My Mom did.  She was stricken with cancer when I was 6 years old.  In fact, I can not remember a time when she was not ill.  The last 15 years of her life were spent undergoing continuous treatments: 

I watched my Mom’s great power, which she needed in order to deal with a new cancer treatment in the late 1960’s that was so unimaginably harsh – that the administration of this treatment was solely based on the primitive science of trial and error – where the doctors’ routine consisted of observing how much of a dose could she tolerate without dying from the treatment. 

It was an experimental treatment back then; offered only as a last resort for terminally ill cancer patients. This wasn’t a cancer cure; just a radical option to extend one’s life another year or two.  It was due to her staying power (and that of many other patients like her) before she finally succumbed in 1974, that has helped pave the way to the development of the commonly used, life-saving cancer treatment we all know today as chemotherapy. 

How many special Moms have died fighting terrible diseases (and brutal treatments) so the rest of us can benefit from the exaggerated term, “modern medicine”? 

Mother’s Day - make it special for your Mom if she’s living; make it special for you through your memories of your Mom if she’s not. 

GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Mentor anyone?

Do you think top producers should have a mentor?  After all, they’re already “killin’ it”.  They’re probably being asked by their manager to share their expertise; teach the others how to do it; set the pace; true?  If everything is going so well, why would a rain maker of all people need a mentor? 

Well, even Jack Nicklaus, arguably the greatest golfer of all time, didn’t want to be left alone.  The same applies to Tiger Woods and literally every other professional on tour.  If it’s good for them, shouldn’t it be good for us?

As a top sales rep, I used to take my stress, worry, and insecurity out on my wife (and my dog).  They were both happy when I finally connected with a mentor (I actually had two).  Having been on “both sides of the fence”, I’ve developed these opinions about top performers, especially in sales: 

·         We don’t want to be “trained”

·         We don’t want to be “managed”

·         Yet, we don’t want to be left alone 

Perhaps because I was a “hunter” I’m frequently approached by other hunters.  Our discussion usually begins with the question, “What would Gary do?”  I don’t know, maybe they think I’m an “expert”.  Lawrence Peter and I have our doubts: 

Make three correct guesses consecutively, and you will establish a reputation as an expert. 

Recently, a friend, top producer, and mentee shared with others that I was definitely an expert.  I chuckled: 

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. 

Niels Bohn 

That’s me alright, “…made all the mistakes which can be made…”.  Nonetheless, I’ve enjoyed working with successful quota carriers over the years. No matter their age, I can relate. Quota (and mistakes) spans generations. 

This person was the third, #1 sales rep from his respective company that I met with recently.  They were all unsettled.  I don’t know why the sales profession creates so much discontent among high performers.  In other professions, success and contentment seems more common.  In his book, Drive © Harry F. Harlow wrote: 

The performance of the task provided intrinsic reward…  The joy of the task was its own reward. 

Top sales people don’t seem to easily find this joy.  The best-of-the-best are frequently labeled with a reputation that can become burdensome - extroverted, natural born, driven, lone wolf.  

Why would such a hunter seek a mentor?  In my experience, it’s that unsettled feeling.  They have a new manager; their territory was cut; their comp plan was changed; their success is no longer fulfilling; they fear their ability to continue it; they’re being lured by a higher commission plan; they feel if they don’t change jobs (or worse, take a promotion to management) it will somehow be held against them; their family relationships are strained.  

I can remember meeting with the #1 sales rep at Salesforce.com a month after he had received his first, seven figure, W-2!  He asked, “Gary, is that all there is?”  Unsettled. 

Are you a discontented, top performer?  

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens most of us.  We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?”

Nelson Mandela 

If you’re feeling unsettled it’s OK; you’re not alone.  You’re likely blessed with power, “beyond measure”!  Just ask your mentor.  

                                                            GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

April 20, 1999 never forgotten…

 

Twenty-five years ago today, my hometown experienced the terror that two teenagers, feeling a sense of desperation and isolation, can bring to their high school, their community and our nation.  It was considered a rare event back then – unfortunately, hunting our school children has become an almost daily event now:

Life is hard and can often seem hopeless for many young people: 

Giving up on somebody takes nothing.  Helping them change takes a tremendous amount of time, energy, and love.  In the end, it’s worth it. 

Urban Meyer 

If you have a son or daughter; grandchildren; nieces or nephews; or neighborhood kids; reach out to them today.  Tell them today that you love them and will support them as they try to make their way in the world.  If they’re struggling to make ends meet – give them a few bucks, reassure them.  Today, help them feel they belong.  Give them hope. 

Let’s address our society’s violence.  Let’s use our power of compassion to increase the sunlight for those heading towards darkness: 

It takes the sun to create a shadow – accept that the dark and the light live side by side in all of us. 

Chellie Campbell 

It’s not just a high school in the town of Littleton, Colorado where I live - We are all Columbine: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9Seqhcq23M 

May you feel peace - and share the power of peace with others - today - especially today - and then every day thereafter! 

GAP

Why not?

In her commencement address thirteen years ago this season Majora Carter (an American urban revitalization strategist and public radio host from New York City) said to the graduating class of Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois: 

You guys will rock! 

It was an interesting dichotomy… An urban revitalization strategist rocking in farm country.  You can’t get much more rural than Galesburg.  Unless you take into account the “greater Galesburg metropolitan area” that includes, East Galesburg; Wataga; Altona; Galva; and the like. 

Galesburg, home to many famous people and a few less-than-remembered events is where I graduated from the college of “hard Knox”.  In those days, I loved the feel of being out in the country.  Growing up in a Chicago suburb, I knew the odds were high that I would live the majority of my adult life in or near a city.  You too? 

Knox College, surrounded by corn fields, was one location of the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates – a series of debates that literally shaped the future of our country.  Here’s one excerpt of that event: 

Both men arrived at the Knox College campus by carriage and walked into the college’s impressive new building that later came to be called Old Main.  The debate was held on the east side of the building.  As the two men, along with other dignitaries, stepped through a window on to the stage it is reported that Lincoln said, “Well, at last I have gone through college.”

                                  Owen Muelder

This spring will again witness a friend or relative’s high school or graduation ceremony for many of us.  Do you remember any of those past commencement speeches?  Maybe this year we should pay closer attention. 

I always enjoy the unbridled hope and enthusiasm that comes from these events.  It reminds me of the proclamations made back in the day, “We can accomplish anything!”; “We will rock!”  Today, how well are we maintaining the spirit of those commitments?  Sometimes growing up dampens our enthusiasm, yes?  Susan Jeffers put it this way: 

Life is what happens when we’ve made other plans.

I understand.  When we work for a living the idealism from high school and college can collide with the demands of Corporate America.  So many people today are trying to “Rock”… as an employee; a parent; a friend; a family member; a community contributor; and so many other responsibilities that it’s easy to forget those happier, simpler, “rural” days. 

It’s not too late.  Before we continue spiraling down the black hole of trepidation, political strife, over-commitments, or despair, let’s refocus on Mason Cooley’s perspective: 

            "Why not?” is a slogan for an interesting life.

I think we’re up to the task.  Why not recommit to hope; enthusiasm; positivity; a better night’s sleep?  Why not strive to simplify our over-energized, over-stressed, “over-urbanized” life styles? 

Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?

Frank Scully 

If we take a moment and think about it, I believe we already have the ability of adding fruit to our daily routine.  Why not follow Charles L. Bromley’s guidance: 

Why not make the best of things?  Any fool can make the worst of them. 

If you’re like me, our college experience was a bit different from Abraham Lincoln’s.  But if he was here today and looking at our possibilities for a better world as compared to the challenges he faced during his presidency, he might offer us these words of wisdom – Why not? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Income taxes - Yuck!

Let’s take a break from our calculators, files, and receipts; aka IRS Form 1040; aka Income Tax Day; aka Yuck!  Next Monday is the deadline.  Are you ready?

Does it seem to you that no matter how we complete our income tax return; no matter how much expert advice we pay for; no matter what plans we put in place to lessen our tax impact for the next year, we still seem to be funding everything?  

On the one hand, I hate the immense level of government spending taking place at the federal, state, county, city and even homeowners’ master association level.  The media reminds us of the tremendous waste that seems to occur every day; every where.  And during an election year?  Well… talk about a “deduction”.  Yuck! 

On the other hand, when there is a natural disaster; a scientific breakthrough funded by a government grant; wider highways; or when we simply have a friend or family member in need and they receive support from a social services program, we are happy we live in America, true? 

Income tax time is one point during the year when we add it all up.  (Talk about “March Madness”. HaHa!)  Sometimes we like the results; other times?  Not so much.  It brings to mind that “new math”: 

The Income Tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. 

Will Rogers 

Question:  If I work from home and my dog barks when the FedEx driver arrives; does she qualify as my receptionist – and can I write-off the cost of her dog food?  No? 

All in all, last year was a very good year for me and mine. How about you and yours?  I suppose it depends on how we measure “good”.  Filing income taxes forces us to look at our W-2; 401k; bank statements; along with our mortgage interest; real estate taxes; and all of those numbers the IRS wants us to report.  That’s one way to measure “good” (or some years, not so good). 

When we look in the mirror, often much of our financial pains are self-inflicted: 

More and more these days I find myself pondering on how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits. 

John Kirk Nelson 

We heard growing up that money isn’t everything.  Do we have the same perspective as adults?  Hopefully so.  Our income, even when reduced by taxes, can still be more than enough for folks that are easily contented.  Unfortunately, the itch of discontent sometimes influences us to spend more than our means, yes? 

During these times of computations (and consumption), it’s not what we make that counts; it’s what’s left over.  Years ago we called it “net worth”.  Today, “line of credit” seems to have replaced the importance of net worth.  Like our federal government, line of credit means “debt”; and debt is not the same as net worth.  Are we worried?  Maybe we should think like rich people think: 

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.  If you owe the bank $100 Million, that's the bank's problem. 

John Paul Getty 

We are looking forward to this year – it will be our best year ever!  We can control how we define “best” by following the guidance of the renowned author and poet, Robert Lewis Stevenson: 

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.                                 

Oh, and no – the seeds are not deductible. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.