Paying attention…

There's so much going on around us these days; so many distractions.  What do you think?  Are people paying more attention to others and to their surroundings, or less?  Here's a representation reflecting the opinion of a professional trying to help us all pay attention:

I think I do a pretty good job of paying attention.  Of course, what worries me is if we were to conduct a survey I wouldn’t be alone:

      In his seminal research David Dunning in conjunction with Justin Kruger uncovered a powerful phenomena, that most of us over-estimate our abilities… Dunning puts it like this; the dumb get confident, while the intelligent get doubtful. 

                   Jim Keenan 

I don’t think the research suggests that just because we don’t pay attention that alone makes us dumb; but it sure feels like dumbness when someone isn’t paying attention, true?  Thus, we compensate for "those people": 

You'll notice that the airport buildings are in the distance.  We don't land at the terminal because it scares the heck out of the people inside. 

                   Mark Sanborn 

The real issue is why don’t we pay closer attention?  As a retired sales professional my profession is known as a profession of talkers vs, listeners: 

… the person doing the talking is always interested in what is said.  It isn’t the lecturer who falls asleep.

                    Phillip S. Wexler 

My former Manager believed (and I agreed with him) that "Discovery" is the most important aspect to a B2B sales process; yet it is an area that most salespeople do poorly.  “Discovery”; “Analysis”; “Requirements Definition”; it goes by many names.  Whatever you call it; it is best completed by paying close attention to what the prospect says; who says it; how they say it; and what they mean. 

Doing an effective Discovery certainly is not easy.  Getting the prospect to tell you what their needs are; tell you about their current shortcomings; sharing their goals; permitting you to meet with their full staff; complete interviews with their executives; etc., requires the utmost of skill and discretion.  

All challenges - yet most often a bad Discovery is due to poor skills on the part of the salesperson.  We’re too anxious to sell; too high pressured in our questioning; in too much of a hurry.  We like to speak – not listen; we want to dwell on “us”, not focus on “them”.  And, we can over-think things instead of simply paying attention.  It's happened before.  Just ask our Unknown Sage: 

            The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.  After their tent was set up, they fell sound asleep.  One hour later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo-Sabe, look towards the sky.  What do you see?”  The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”  “What that tell you?” asks Tonto. 

     The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute and then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially millions of planets.  Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.  Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.  Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.  Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.  What's it tell you, Tonto?” 

     Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, “Kemo-Sabe, you dumb a$$! Someone stole tent." 

Imagine what we could notice (and how many tents we could save) if we all simply paid attention. 

                                                            GAP                                                                                                                                              

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Integrity…

David Major is Course Director for Senior Enlisted Blended Seminar Program for Marine Corps University at Marine Corps Base Quantico, VA.  He and I were recently pondering value from a military and non-military perspective: 

As a Nation, we typically see the military being recognized at sporting events but how often do we see teachers, nurses, social workers, hospice caregivers get the same recognition.  Are they just as important to the Republic? Show me what a country values and I will show you what a country is. 

In  his class, Law of War and Profession of Arms, leadership spoke of value: 

The word integrity itself is a martial word that comes to us from an ancient Roman army tradition.  During the time of the 12 Caesars, the Roman army would conduct morning inspections. As the inspecting Centurion would come in front of each Legionnaire, the soldier would strike with his right fist the armor breastplate that covered his heart. The armor had to be strongest there in order to protect the heart from the sword thrusts and from arrow strikes. As the soldier struck his armor, he would shout "integritas", which in Latin means material wholeness, completeness, and entirety. The inspecting Centurion would listen closely for this affirmation and also for the ring that well-kept armor would give off…

     At about the same time, the Praetorians or Imperial Bodyguard were ascending into power and influence. Drawn from the best "politically correct" soldiers of the Legions, they received the finest equipment and armor. They no longer had to shout "integritas" to signify that their armor was sound. Instead, as they struck their breastplate, they would shout "hail Caesar", to signify that their heart belonged to the Imperial personage – not to their unit – not to an institution – not to a code of ideals. They armored themselves to serve the cause of a single man.

A century passed and the rift between the Legion and the Imperial bodyguard and its excesses grew larger. To signify the difference between the two organizations, the Legionnaire, upon striking his armor would no longer shout "integritas",  but instead would shout "integer".

Integer means undiminished – complete – perfect. It not only indicated that the armor was sound, it also indicated that the soldier wearing the armor was sound of character. He was complete in his integrity … his heart was in the right place … his standards and morals were high…

The armor of integrity continued to serve the Legion well… but by 383 AD, the social decline that infected the Republic and the Praetorian guard had its effects upon the Legion.

As a 4th century Roman general wrote, "when, because of negligence and laziness, parade ground drills were abandoned, the customary armor began to feel heavy since the soldiers rarely, if ever, wore it. Therefore, they first asked the Emperor to set aside the breastplates and mail and then the helmets. So our soldiers fought the Goths without any protection for the heart and head and were often beaten by archers. They took their armor off, and when the armor came off – so too came their integrity" it was only a matter of a few years until the Legion rotted from within and was unable to hold the frontiers … the barbarians were at the gates. 

                   General Charles C. Krulak 

I often wonder what led to the demise of the Roman Empire.  

Does America's individual and collective value of integrity feel heavy?  I wonder… 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Thank you very much…

Imagine that simple phrase being spoken by Elvis Presley.  According to Elvis Australia (of all sources): 

The quality of his voice is most often described as soulful. It had an 'aching sincerity ... and an indefinable quality of yearning ... virtually impossible to pigeonhole'. Elvis Presley's three-octave vocal range was exceptional, 'very narrowly all at once a tenor, baritone, and bass'. 

My wife and I recently returned to the movie theater and saw Elvis on the “big screen”.  When you hear the name Elvis Presley, what comes to mind?  Do you remember Elvis?  Have you ever thought of striving to be like Elvis?  (Hold that thought; I’ll come back to it.) 

A little historical context… Elvis Presley recorded his first single in 1956.  By the time he died 21 years later he had become a worldwide icon.  My research from 2012 revealed: 

According to the R.I.A.A., the governing body that certifies Gold, Platinum, and Multi-Platinum record sales, (Recording Industry Association of America) the leading all time artist in record sales is ELVIS PRESLEY.  Elvis is the leading sales artist for both Solo Artist and Group.  Elvis has sold over 2.5 Billion records worldwide.  Elvis has been on the charts more times than any other artist or group. Elvis has the most hits in the Top 100, the Top 40, The Top 10, and has had 32 Number 1 Records.  Elvis is the only artist inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, The Country Music Hall of Fame, The Gospel Music Hall of Fame, and The Rhythm and Blues Hall of Fame.

John Lennon said: "Before Elvis there was nothing". 

WOW!  The Rolling Stones have been performing for 60 years and “only sold” 240 million records.  The Beatles have sold over 600 million records; Michael Jackson reached 750 million.  Elvis sold over 2.5 Billion records in just 21 years!   While taking time out to serve in the Army; become a movie star; a multiple Hall of Famer; and his legend continues to live on larger than life to this day. 

All from a man born into a poor family; with a high school education; who pre-dated Facebook, social media, and the Internet; yet by the time he was 30 he was a worldwide icon.  (Maybe earlier – I’m not sure who officially confirmed worldwide icons back in those days.)   Oh, and by the way, he accomplished all of these things without ever performing outside of North America. 

For the cynics, perhaps what you remember most about his image is the final years; fighting obesity; succumbing to prescription drug abuse; struggling to be an aging icon.

Regardless of our knowledge and opinions about Elvis Presley, we might wonder how we could benefit if we strove to be like Elvis? 

In one interview of a Production Director he commented about the movies Elvis starred in.  Some of the movies were well-produced; Elvis enjoyed them and was proud of them.  Other movies were poorly produced, which Elvis hated and was embarrassed by.  The Production Director summarized, saying his first movies were excellent; the others were just OK – but, he went on to emphasize: 

 Elvis Presley was not about being just OK. 

He put all the energy he had, every day, into being who he was and doing what he did – and what he did made him a worldwide icon. 

See what I mean?  What could we accomplish if we strove to be more like Elvis? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Sorry – I wasn’t listening…

I can get so busy multi-tasking at times that I simply don’t listen.  (Drives my wife crazy when I’m present - but not present!)  Does that ever happen to you?  When it does, sometimes I become defensive or try to hide my mistake.  Not very wise I suppose.  It would be better to follow Adam’s advice: 

I only have to be told twice; once. 

Adam Katzenmeyer   

A very wise and thoughtful statement, true?  In one, respectful sentence, Adam: (A) admitted he was not listening, (B) avoided faking it, or worse, arguing that he was listening when he actually wasn’t, and (C) acknowledged his commitment to listen, going forward. 

Adam is a former colleague of mine.  His is an example of lessons I learned in my job that apply to my daily life.  One of the extra benefits of being a sales professional – I met many wise and thoughtful people. Most of the time the lessons were obvious; other times I absorbed them slowly and subconsciously; occasionally, I needed a 2x4 to hit me over the head before it sunk in. 

Some advice stayed top of mind: 

Don’t be stupid. 

Nick Ryder 

Wisdom I picked from my friend and former colleague in the late 1980s.   Nick and a sales support person from our company had just returned from a prospect meeting that went poorly.  His sales support person had argued with the prospect, which cost Nick the deal.  Afterwards, when she asked what she should have done different and how she could improve in the future, he offered those three, profound words.  I try to live by them, too (although some days it takes the 2x4). 

Back to listening - have you ever found yourself in a disagreement with someone, perhaps even an argument, only to realize that you had actually mis-listened and the other person was right all along?  Did you quickly admit your mistake?  Did you ignore it and continue to argue?  John P. Kotter in his book Leading Change © offers us this observation: 

Listening with an open mind, trying new things, reflecting honestly on successes and failures - none of this requires a high IQ, and MBA degree, or a privileged background.  Yet remarkably few people behave in these ways today, especially after age thirty-five and especially when they are already doing well in their careers. 

I don’t think I’m alone with this affliction.  I have seen others argue, defend, and attempt to deflect the blame of being wrong almost to the point of absurdity.  Our Unknown Sage offers this: 

Courtor’s Rule: 

If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.                            

It’s OK; no one is perfect.  If wisdom needs further, more scientifically oriented reinforcement, Russell Kay offers us this: 

Grabel's Law 

Two is not equal to three - not even for very large values of two. 

When we find ourselves in an argument, it may be wise to follow this thoughtful advice from Managing Conflict in the Workplace ©: 

Listening makes a lot of sense.  Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. 

    Robert Benchley 

Sadly, even after all of the years in my profession; after reading thought leadership from so many wise people; after being “burned” by my mistakes… perhaps because I’m older than thirty-five and have this uncontrollable need to be right, when I get into an argument I guess I need that 2x4 to do as Robert suggests and say nothing. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.