So now what?

I bet you’ve been there… how do you feel about it?  Is it just the way it is?  Or, might we benefit from a bit of improvement?  I’ll pause so you can check that IM… All set?  OK, Here goes… 

In general, I hate being connected, which I associate with being either interrupted or confused, not being in touch. 

Geoffrey A. Moore 

My wife recently returned from a two-day sewing conference that combined training, hands-on work, and lectures.  It also highlighted attendees “being connected”… When telling me about her event she said something about appreciating the interest I was expressing.  She seemed surprised because: 

My wife says I only have two faults.  I don't listen and something else. 

                   Unknown Sage 

I was listening now… She said the hands-on sessions worked great because each attendee had their own workspace for applying the techniques from the training.  She wasn’t interrupted by other people’s interruptions. 

Hands-on is an effective approach for almost any endeavor, true?  Unfortunately, when I probed further what stood out for my wife was all of the interruptions during the training and lectures.  We have all been “there”.  But do we contribute to “there” ourselves?  Me included?  Oops…just a minute… 

OK I’m back.  A robo-call from my dry cleaner’s point-of-sale system reminding me that my clothes are ready…  now where was I?  Oh yes, I was saying we all have been impacted by those irritating little interruptions from our various electronic devices; often in the presence of others… I’m sorry, one sec please… 

My smart watch was reminding me to take my medication.  I wear it 24-hours a day to track my sleep.  It thinks I forgot to take my meds last night… Anyway, I totally agree with you: 

One wonders how we could survive without voices in our cars that keep reminding us that the door is open even when we want the door open to get some fresh air… 

Norman R. Augustine

Getting back to those interruptions, my wife said that during every training and lecture session several members of the audience were on their phones.  (You and I would never do that LOL!)  One lady had a loud jingle set for her incoming calls.  You know what’s next… yep, right in the middle of a lecture her phone goes off.  The device was buried in her oversized handbag so it took what seemed like forever to find it and end the jingle.  At least she didn’t answer the call HaHa!  She also didn’t set her phone to vibrate and another call (with more jingling) came in just moments after the first.  Is that your phone I hear in the background?  I’ll wait… 

Everything OK?... Back to my wife’s event.  The presenters didn’t say anything during those constant interruptions; didn’t ask people put their phones on silent; just ignored it.  Then my wife noticed one of the presenters herself was constantly glancing down at her smart watch – everyone knew she was scanning her emails during the middle of her presentation. 

So now what? 

Wi-Fi went down for five minutes so I had to talk to my family.  They seem like nice people. 

              Unknown Sage 

I wonder if the pandemic caused people’s behavior of multi-tasking across multiple devices in virtual environments to become permanent.  Now that we’re retuning to in-person gatherings, can we break those habits?  

Well, that’s all I have for today… I’ll let you get back to your in-box.  Thanks! 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Agreeing to disagree…

I'm sensitive about the topic of retirement.  I know the vast majority of my readers are actively employed.  Even my wife is running a successful ecommerce business.  However now that I'm on the sidelines, perhaps I can offer a glimpse into what's happening to people in the working world; the other parts of the world, too.  Seems to be a lot of consternation and conflict, true? 

Ian Leslie wrote in his book Curious© this: 

A user of the social news and discussion site Reddit recently posted the following question: If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about today?  The most popular answer was this one: I possess a device, in my pocket, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man.  I use it to look at pictures of cats and get into arguments with strangers. 

Curiously, I am from the 1950s and we do use social media to get into arguments with strangers.  I worry how much I've been impacted: 

When I retire, I'll have the time to rediscover myself.  I used to be a nice person. 

Jeri Sedlar 

I've been thinking a lot about my skill and ability to disagree with someone else's point of view without coming across disagreeable.  I mean discussing or even debating different points of view is one thing; raising the temperature to a full blown argument and blasting someone online is something altogether different, don’t you agree? 

There, I said it (actually I wrote it), I'm trying to persuade you to agree with my point of view.  According to this 2020 post from thebalancecareers.com: 

Persuasion is convincing others to change their point of view, agree to a commitment, purchase a product or service, or take a course of action. Oral and written persuasive skills are valued in the workplace. Sales is the most obvious form of persuasion, but this skill is used in many other positions as well. 

Selling skills aside, I've noticed that I become angry too easily these days when I see or hear things going on around me that I disagree with.  Has the art of persuasion been usurped by social media and the ability to just lambast others and their points of view?

The article The persuasion triad - Aristotle Still Teaches, published in 2016 and referencing thought leadership from 23 centuries ago reminds us: 

Aristotle determined that persuasion comprises a combination of three appeals: logos, pathos, and ethos. Anyone seeking to persuade an audience should craft his/her message with facts (logos), tapping an argument's emotional aspect (pathos), and presenting his/her apparent moral standing (ethos). 

Facts, emotions, and moral standing?  I have improvement work to do.  Whether I'm right or wrong, I don't always have to look for a fight.  It's OK if we agree to disagree. 

According to Wikipedia, the phrase "agree to disagree" appeared in print all the way back in 1770:

…a phrase in English referring to the resolution of a conflict (usually a debate or quarrel) whereby all parties tolerate but do not accept the opposing positions. It generally occurs when all sides recognize that further conflict would be unnecessary, ineffective or otherwise undesirable. They may also remain on amicable terms while continuing to disagree about the unresolved issues. 

Agreeing to disagree; remaining on amicable terms.  There's a skill I can work on in retirement.  Wish I started working on it years ago. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Paying attention…

There's so much going on around us these days; so many distractions.  What do you think?  Are people paying more attention to others and to their surroundings, or less?  Here's a representation reflecting the opinion of a professional trying to help us all pay attention:

I think I do a pretty good job of paying attention.  Of course, what worries me is if we were to conduct a survey I wouldn’t be alone:

      In his seminal research David Dunning in conjunction with Justin Kruger uncovered a powerful phenomena, that most of us over-estimate our abilities… Dunning puts it like this; the dumb get confident, while the intelligent get doubtful. 

                   Jim Keenan 

I don’t think the research suggests that just because we don’t pay attention that alone makes us dumb; but it sure feels like dumbness when someone isn’t paying attention, true?  Thus, we compensate for "those people": 

You'll notice that the airport buildings are in the distance.  We don't land at the terminal because it scares the heck out of the people inside. 

                   Mark Sanborn 

The real issue is why don’t we pay closer attention?  As a retired sales professional my profession is known as a profession of talkers vs, listeners: 

… the person doing the talking is always interested in what is said.  It isn’t the lecturer who falls asleep.

                    Phillip S. Wexler 

My former Manager believed (and I agreed with him) that "Discovery" is the most important aspect to a B2B sales process; yet it is an area that most salespeople do poorly.  “Discovery”; “Analysis”; “Requirements Definition”; it goes by many names.  Whatever you call it; it is best completed by paying close attention to what the prospect says; who says it; how they say it; and what they mean. 

Doing an effective Discovery certainly is not easy.  Getting the prospect to tell you what their needs are; tell you about their current shortcomings; sharing their goals; permitting you to meet with their full staff; complete interviews with their executives; etc., requires the utmost of skill and discretion.  

All challenges - yet most often a bad Discovery is due to poor skills on the part of the salesperson.  We’re too anxious to sell; too high pressured in our questioning; in too much of a hurry.  We like to speak – not listen; we want to dwell on “us”, not focus on “them”.  And, we can over-think things instead of simply paying attention.  It's happened before.  Just ask our Unknown Sage: 

            The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.  After their tent was set up, they fell sound asleep.  One hour later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo-Sabe, look towards the sky.  What do you see?”  The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”  “What that tell you?” asks Tonto. 

     The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute and then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially millions of planets.  Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.  Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.  Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.  Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.  What's it tell you, Tonto?” 

     Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, “Kemo-Sabe, you dumb a$$! Someone stole tent." 

Imagine what we could notice (and how many tents we could save) if we all simply paid attention. 

                                                            GAP                                                                                                                                              

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Sorry – I wasn’t listening…

I can get so busy multi-tasking at times that I simply don’t listen.  (Drives my wife crazy when I’m present - but not present!)  Does that ever happen to you?  When it does, sometimes I become defensive or try to hide my mistake.  Not very wise I suppose.  It would be better to follow Adam’s advice: 

I only have to be told twice; once. 

Adam Katzenmeyer   

A very wise and thoughtful statement, true?  In one, respectful sentence, Adam: (A) admitted he was not listening, (B) avoided faking it, or worse, arguing that he was listening when he actually wasn’t, and (C) acknowledged his commitment to listen, going forward. 

Adam is a former colleague of mine.  His is an example of lessons I learned in my job that apply to my daily life.  One of the extra benefits of being a sales professional – I met many wise and thoughtful people. Most of the time the lessons were obvious; other times I absorbed them slowly and subconsciously; occasionally, I needed a 2x4 to hit me over the head before it sunk in. 

Some advice stayed top of mind: 

Don’t be stupid. 

Nick Ryder 

Wisdom I picked from my friend and former colleague in the late 1980s.   Nick and a sales support person from our company had just returned from a prospect meeting that went poorly.  His sales support person had argued with the prospect, which cost Nick the deal.  Afterwards, when she asked what she should have done different and how she could improve in the future, he offered those three, profound words.  I try to live by them, too (although some days it takes the 2x4). 

Back to listening - have you ever found yourself in a disagreement with someone, perhaps even an argument, only to realize that you had actually mis-listened and the other person was right all along?  Did you quickly admit your mistake?  Did you ignore it and continue to argue?  John P. Kotter in his book Leading Change © offers us this observation: 

Listening with an open mind, trying new things, reflecting honestly on successes and failures - none of this requires a high IQ, and MBA degree, or a privileged background.  Yet remarkably few people behave in these ways today, especially after age thirty-five and especially when they are already doing well in their careers. 

I don’t think I’m alone with this affliction.  I have seen others argue, defend, and attempt to deflect the blame of being wrong almost to the point of absurdity.  Our Unknown Sage offers this: 

Courtor’s Rule: 

If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.                            

It’s OK; no one is perfect.  If wisdom needs further, more scientifically oriented reinforcement, Russell Kay offers us this: 

Grabel's Law 

Two is not equal to three - not even for very large values of two. 

When we find ourselves in an argument, it may be wise to follow this thoughtful advice from Managing Conflict in the Workplace ©: 

Listening makes a lot of sense.  Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. 

    Robert Benchley 

Sadly, even after all of the years in my profession; after reading thought leadership from so many wise people; after being “burned” by my mistakes… perhaps because I’m older than thirty-five and have this uncontrollable need to be right, when I get into an argument I guess I need that 2x4 to do as Robert suggests and say nothing. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Multitasking…

Working from home made me think of my colleagues and their desks at the office before current events hit.  At my company, having 2 monitors is the “norm” and several folks have 3.  Add in their laptop screen plus 1 or even 2 cell phones and their office cubes remind me of a fighter pilot’s cockpit LoL!

Naturally, my colleagues are using all their monitors and screens simultaneously aka “multitasking”, which seems to be held in high esteem in the technology sales profession these days.  I wonder how they feel about Susan Cain’s piece in her book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking ©?

…even multitasking, that prized feat of modern-day office warriors, turns out to be a myth.  Scientists now know that the brain is incapable of paying attention to two things at the same time.  What looks like multitasking is really switching back and forth between multiple tasks, which reduces productivity and increases mistakes by up to 50 percent.

Permit me to repeat (in case you were distracted by your other monitors and screens), scientifically confirmed multitasking, “reduces productivity and increases mistakes”.  Makes me think of:

Westheimer's Rule

To estimate the time it takes to do a task estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two and change the unit of the measure to the next highest unit. Thus, we allocate two days for a one hour task.

Does that sound familiar?  How long does it take your company to complete projects?  I’m amazed being in the technology business how challenging in can be to get things done.  Probably the same in every business these days, true?

Westheimer’s Rule makes me think of Bill Gates:

The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency.  The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.

I wonder how many monitors Bill has in his home office.  Now that we are working from home, I wonder if my colleagues brought all of their equipment home so they can continue to use multiple screens and monitors for multitasking.  If they didn’t, I wonder if my company will be able to measure an up-tick in productivity and the improved accuracy cited science suggests.  What do you think about multitasking?  Does it magnify inefficiency?  Shorten our attention spans? 

I don’t know about you, but when I’m in a meeting; on a webcast; even talking on the phone, I can usually tell when the people I’m interacting with are multitasking.  Especially webcast meets, yes?  There’s that pause when we ask someone a question… and we wait … and we wait… and then comes the customary, “Sorry, I was on mute.”  I’m not calling others out – been there; done that; myself LoL!

Makes me think of my friend and former colleague Adam Katzenmeyer, a multi-monitored cube-mate of mine back in the day:

You only have to tell me twice, once.

Not that the other end of the focus spectrum is the answer.  We can become “overly focused”, just ask my wife:

My husband doesn’t watch TV; he becomes the TV!

I suppose the ideal answer lies somewhere in the middle; access multiple inputs, but keep them to a manageable level so as we switch back and forth we stay reasonably attentive to the task at hand.  Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  Hello?  Are you there?

                                                              GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.