Just for the fun of it…

How about a little ditty today just for the fun of it?  Actually a collection of little ditties.  Here are a few that have caught my eye – and my sense of humor – over the years.  I attribute all of them to that favorite Unknown Sage of ours.

I have read some of these in a book; some I have seen online; many I have seen on something as simple as a T-shirt, coffee mug, hand towel, or bumper sticker.  I bet you see quips, quotes, and pieces of positivity every day, too.  Hopefully, you’re paying attention:  

Always…when there's a scenic route, take it.  Arriving late and nasally challenged because you've mistakenly driven by the septic plant is still better than being punctual and bored. 

Robert Fulghum 

From time to time life’s nicest pleasures come from simple, old fashion, off-line sources, true?  Admittedly, I’m leveraging social media to share this post with you.  I don’t have enough room in my closet for all of those T-shirts I’ve seen, and I don’t have a big enough bumper for those bumper stickers.  I guess there really is a place for the online world in our lives today. HaHa! 

Here we go: 

            Love, Marriage, and Family 

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes... so she hugged me. 

Retired: Free to do whatever my wife wants me to do. 

Murphy's Paradox: 

Doing it the hard way is always easier. 

Children enrolled in ski lessons are required to wear a location beacon in case they get lost.  We find most of them. 

“Adulting”? 

The officer said, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" We just laughed and laughed... Now I need bail money. 

You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn't?  Yeah, I don't have one of those. 

Nothing is easy to the unwilling. 

Labor Rates:

     Regular        $ 24.50

     If you wait    $ 30.00

     If you watch   $ 35.00

     If you help    $ 50.00

     If you laugh   $ 75.00 

Masters of the household 

A dog accepts you as the boss...  A cat wants to see your resume. 

Welcome to my kitchen where many have eaten here and few have died. 

Billings' Law: 

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. 

From a Father’s Day card: 

Dad, you taught me to always keep going and to never lose sight of my goal or my sense of humor along the way.

Technology 

It’s commonly referred to as “technology”.  I trademarked it as Dark Ages Computing ® 

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "close enough". 

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.    

The New Math Version of Murphy's Law: 

If there is a 50/50 chance of something going wrong, nine times out of ten it will.     

“Modern” Medicine 

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness.  I said, "No. We all seem to enjoy it." 

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated.  She made an appointment for next Tuesday. 

Cirino's Law of Burnt Fingers: 

Hot glass looks the same as cold glass. 

          Young's Handy Guide to the Modern Sciences: 

If it is green or it wiggles -- it is Biology.

If it stinks -- it is Chemistry.

If it doesn't work -- it is Physics. 

I hope you enjoyed today’s little compendium.  Please share those you see while traveling life’s highways, OK? 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.