Wednesday, March 24, 2021

My rock…

Permit me to pause from business matters today… 

Last Friday marked our 48th wedding anniversary.  A significant number of days to be with one’s significant other, true?  In reality I’ve been with my high school sweetheart since 1970.  That’s 51 years and continuing!  We’ve actually known each other since the 7th grade.  I think it’s more than just destiny: 

We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny.  But what we put into it is ours. 

Dag Hammarskjold 

Many of you are enjoying long-lasting relationships; many have been married longer than we.  To you, a Mile High Salute!  The secret? 

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. 

Mignon McLaughlin 

As you know, I write about my wife frequently.  Her impact on my life is significant.  Like any couple, we have our good days and our not-so-good days.  Like many couples, we’ve had some of those relationship-testing; foundation-rattling; we’re-not-going-to-make-it; kind of days.  

Over the past year we can testify that “for better or worse” really means for better or for worse.  We’re reminded: 

When you’re riding through hell… keep riding. 

James P. Owen

Any meaningful journey is like that, yes?  Even one of America’s most famous sweethearts offered her guidance on life’s journey: 

Pain nourishes courage.  You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you. 

Mary Tyler Moore 

After 48 years we have learned to enjoy life’s little moments.  “Date night”, although a nice idea, looks nothing like an actual “date night” anymore.  Still, we have been blessed with our share of wonderful things; all driven by love.  In fact, 48 years ago this month the #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100 was “Love Train” by the O’Jays.  

According to Wikipedia: 

The word 'train' comes from the Old French trahiner, from the Latin trahere meaning pull, or draw. 

I have been a passenger on that love train my wife has pulled us along on for 48 years!  I’ve tried to contribute a few little things each day to lighten her load a bit; clear the tracks.  Rob Gilbert made a list: 

How to have a Winning Day: 

You have to listen

more than you talk…

You have to smile

more than you frown…

You have to be fascinated

more than you're frustrated…

You have to believe in yourself

more than you doubt yourself.

You have to work

more than you whine.

You have to do

more than you don't.                                 

I have paid attention to my role, responsibilities, and boundaries, too: 

Men ordering custom colors must first bring in a note from their wife.  

Guiry Paint Store 

It’s OK; she writes the notes; I run the errands; we make a great team.  And on those occasional occasions where disagreement looms, I heed Harlan Miller’s advice: 

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving three or four things a day unsaid.                                 

48 years and our love train is still rolling strong.  No matter our future course; no matter the challenges we will face; the trials that will test us; our love train will continue.  We will be pulled along by my significant other – regardless of whether the wind is at our back or resisting as it blows hard in our face.  Etheridge Knight’s words will continue to guide us: 

Love is a rock against the wind. 

Happy 48th Anniversary Dear!  You’re my rock and I love you. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

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