I wish…

I am blessed to have my children and grandchildren in my life.  Both of my sons and two of my three grandchildren live nearby.  Someday they may all venture out on their own.  But for now, I get to see them throughout each week.  I know about their school; their jobs; their friends. 

Like other grandfathers I try to be supportive; I try to make myself available to offer them guidance; transfer a little knowledge; maybe a piece of wisdom or two.  I’m not sure how interested they are in what I have to share.  I think that is the case throughout the generations.  Who was it that said: 

            Hire a teenager while they still know everything 

When I was growing up, I never knew either of my grandfathers.  I never even met them.  I did know my wife's maternal grandfather.  However, I never invested the time to engage in a deep, adult conversation with him.  He was a successful entrepreneur.  When he sold his jewelry company, he had made enough and saved enough to live comfortably for almost 40 years.  He also witnessed life during the Great Depression among other world, national, and everyday events, but I never asked him to share his knowledge. 

My Father-in-Law served in the Navy during World War II; he was stationed in the south pacific theatre.  But I never persuaded him to tell me about his experiences; I never talked with him about "a day in the life" when every day in his life was at risk back then. 

Even my own father lived during historic times; he was in the Army Air Corps, which preceded today’s Air Force; the "Baby Boom" era; the 1960s Civil Rights movement; the Vietnam War... but I never had an extended conversation with him about what he learned; what he knew; what I should know. 

Maybe my life was too focused on me, on my own opinions, on my own needs. Sounds similar to the criticisms we place on today’s Millennial Generation doesn't it?  Maybe every generation is critical of the previous: 

"What's your opinion of my idea?” the brash young man asked his boss.  “It isn't worth anything”, said the boss.  “I know”, conceded the young egotist, “but give it to me anyway.” 

Unknown Sage 

Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr, a nineteenth century, French writer (that’s a few generations ago!) is credited with saying: 

The more things change, the more they stay the same

Today, I try to be that father; that grandfather; even a mentor at my company and in my profession.  Very few are interested in what I have learned.  In my profession (if not in my family), I've always tried to credit others who taught me.  I mean, I graduated in the bottom half of my college class, so you know I didn’t succeed without a lot of help from others. 

I wish I had talked with my fathers and grandfathers.  I wish I had learned more from the generations that preceded mine.  I wish I could pass along more knowledge; more wisdom; more of the life lessons I have learned to the generations that are following mine. 

I wish they were more interested in learning: 

To know that you do not know is the best 

Lao-Tsu 

The older I get, and the more knowledgeable and accomplished I become in my field, the more I realize how smart my elders actually were. 

I wish I could tell them that. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

What’s that Buzzing?

 Ah yes, buzz words – how wonderful!  Although I’m in the technology sales profession which is fully stocked with acronyms; buzz words; and technospeak...  I bet whatever career field you’re in you too have bountiful bundles of buzz words, true? 

When you think of our terminology in the technology field, including platform designations, product features, and company names, the amusement is abundant.  I think technology may only be surpassed by pharmaceutical companies.  Where do they come up with those hard to pronounce and impossible to spell drug names! 

Today – let’s poke fun at my profession starting with Rick Levine’s observation: 

Since Appian was first a famous Roman highway, you'd think this might be a clue to Xymos' new identity.  But the release says; 

“Appian was chosen for the name because it represents the ability to use leading edge technology and innovation, integrated into solutions that provide differentiation and competitive advantage.” 

Just what the Romans had in mind. 

I heard a Goodwill Industries radio commercial the other day asking a salesperson to donate an old business suit.  It included many buzzwords from a list that was elaborated on in this post: http://www.growwire.com/tech-buzzwords 

          Pivot   360-degree view   Disrupt

Actionable Insights   Sync Up   Holistic Approach

Leverage  Open the Kimono   Circle Back   

Deep Dive   Visibility   Core Competency

Buy-In   Growth Hacking   Silos   Hustle   

Unicorn   Agile   Bandwidth   Innovation

Digital Transformation 

Do any of these buzzwords find their way into your emails; texts; conversations; or meetings?  I mean, if you don’t have the bandwidth today we could circle back later, do a deep dive to leverage a more holistic approach, open up the kimono and reach actionable insights.  Wait… what? 

Of course, businesspeople who come up with this jargon in the technology field take their buzzwords seriously.  What… wait… can I use “buzzword” and “seriously” in the same sentence?  But I digress… 

In the book The Challenger Sale ©,  the authors published this top 10 list of Buzzword / Marketing Speak / Overused Term.  

What do you think?  When someone is speaking with you and they start to string together buzzwords, does that impress you? 

Maybe it’s a generational thing?  Lord knows, I have to pay extra attention to my younger colleagues.   When I’m having a verbal discussion, they speak unbelievably fast.  I’m peddling as fast as I can just to keep up.  When I’m engaged in a written exchange they add to the buzzword challenge their own “netlingo”!  Their abbreviated imagination BTHOOM.  

I don’t know; are we all so busy these days that our only way of communicating has been reduced to buzzwords; shortcuts; acronyms; and netlingo?  Seems to me that such digital transformation will inadvertently disrupt our ability to understand one another.  George Bernard Shaw in his book Managing Conflict in the Workplace © puts it this way: 

The problem with communication, is the illusion it has taken place. 

You tell me… is our society today increasing the mastery of the English language and in so doing improving our level of communication and corresponding understanding?  Maybe we’re simply waiting for the robots to take over communications on our behalf.  Computers talking to computers… hmmm… would such growth hacking make things for we humans better?  Or worse? 

And as such innovative initiatives evolve, who would be the innovator, the program or the programmer?  The question may deserve a 360-degree view before we all hustle to buy-in to this agile, solution to a new, improved and unique way of thought exchange. 

Where is Spock’s Vulcan mind meld when we need it? 

GAP 

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High School Sweethearts…

Fall; October; football; high school; Homecoming – do you remember your first high school sweetheart?  High school is a very special and memorable time for teenagers; it certainly was for me.  And I always enjoyed the autumn season when I was in high school – Homecoming; Halloween; dating; parties (most chaperoned, some not). 

Fifty years ago, this very time of the year, I asked the prettiest girl in my high school out on a first date.  I guess it went well enough because here we are fifty years later, and I’m still awe-struck by the glow of her beauty.  

I hope you enjoy this opening to Chapter XII True North, of my book, The Peace & Power of a Positive Perspective © as much I enjoyed writing it: 

Dedicated to… a crisp night in October; with a slight breeze blowing through bare trees – waiting for the coming winter.   Close your eyes.  Can you smell remnants of autumn leaves burning?  

To winning the homecoming football game.  To being carefree. To a Saturday night party at the teenager’s house whose parents are away.  Can you hear the kids having fun in the kitchen; the basement; and the backyard, all to the beat of the Rolling Stones?  

To couches, blue jeans and sweaters.  To the floor lamp reflecting on her blond hair making it shimmer with silvery streaks of light.  To the nervous small talk of a teenage boy in the presence of a varsity cheerleader.  To the patience of the teenage girl sitting on the couch with the captain of the varsity basketball team.  Can you remember when you could actually hear your heart throbbing? 

To throw pillows, which come in handy when the small talk runs out – what else can a young boy do?  And to playful pillow fights; which lead to gentle wrestling and ultimately to that first kiss. Remember how delicate she felt in your arms – the hint of her perfume – the taste of her lips? 

To first dates – dinner and a movie.  To the movie Catch 22 and the Oriental Theatre in downtown Chicago.  To dating the prettiest girl in your high school; to falling in love; to asking her father’s permission for her hand in marriage.  Were you ever so nervous? 

To the tears welling up in my eyes even as I write this short memoire.  To all those emotions; all the happiness; all those hopes and all those dreams; some fulfilled, some yet to be; and all that I can remember today as if it just happened yesterday – that I will remember everyday, as long as I live.  How can someone be so lucky? 

To 1970 - and that Saturday night in October in Elmhurst where I kissed Debbie for the very first time.  And to the friend’s house whose parents were out – to their couch, their floor lamp, to their throw pillows; and to the Rolling Stones music.  Can you imagine being so young, so infatuated, and so in love?  

I still am.  

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective. 

Diversity & Disagreement…

Talk about the unstoppable force and the immovable object …  We are witnessing this paradox in many elements of our society today, true?  It’s not that diversity and disagreement are anything new.  But the levels of today’s intensity are something I’ve not witnessed in recent memory. 

I believe diversity and disagreement are inseparable.  It’s navigating through the tension that exists in between these that matters.  Today, our skill and ability to manage this tension is being severely tested, don’t you agree? 

Shay & Margaret McConnon in their book Managing Conflict in the Workplace © put it this way: 

I see you as wrong.  You see me as wrong.  We are both right. 

Simple; direct; accurate?  Yes.  But it’s not that we disagree.  Diversity by definition involves disagreement, doesn’t it?  It’s how we think about disagreement that matters. 

College football coaching legend Paul, “Bear” Bryant put it this way: 

Over the years I've learned a lot about coaching staffs and one piece of advice I would pass on to a young coach or corporate executive or even a bank president is this; Don't make them in your image.  Don’t even try.  My assistants don’t look alike, think alike, or have the same personalities.  And I sure don't want them all thinking the way I do.  You don't strive for sameness, you strive for balance. 

From the virtual conference rooms to the streets of our cities, diversity and disagreement are reaching a fevered pitch unseen since the civil rights movement and the Viet Nam War of the 1960s.  Finding balance is indeed becoming elusive. 

Coincidently, “sameness” dominated a business meeting I attended.  I don’t know if sameness is good or bad.  Personally, I’ve always liked a good argument.  To me, disagreeing over the  diversity of ideas is intellectually fulfilling and helps me learn.  Unfortunately, disagreeing without being disagreeable is a challenge I’ve failed too often.  Still learning! 

Recently, our global team met and one of the topics we discussed was the diversity among the various individuals on our team.  Like other teams in business, ours is global in nature; a mix of age, gender, experience, etc.  And yet, during the 4-hours of meeting time not a single person (sadly, myself included) offered one word of disagreement.  Not one word. 

Setting the environment for a meaningful discussion that includes both diversity and disagreement is a leadership skill: 

Alfred Sloan, Chairman and CEO of General Motors for years was in a Board meeting about to make an important decision.  He said, “I take it that everyone is in basic agreement with this decision.”  Everyone nodded.  Sloan looked at the group and said, “Then I suggest we postpone the decision.  Until we have disagreement, we don't understand the problem.” 

I’m not qualified to speak of solutions to our national (and international) conflicts grounded on diversity and disagreement.  I don’t fully understand the problems. 

It has been a blessing to learn how to look at my world through the lens of a sales professional.  I am amused (and somewhat dismayed) in comparing selling to current events.  The lens of a sales professional enables us to seek common ground with a potential customer. 

Sales professionals learn to look beyond race, religion, gender, age, political preferences, and the like.  Instead, we focus on completing a successful transaction with our soon-to-be-customer.  Interestingly, successful sales transactions often lead to successful business relationships in spite of diversity. 

If only the world were so easy! 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Giving our best…

Football is my favorite sport.  A bit ironic I suppose, because football is the epitome of a time in my life that I did not give my best.  Actually, it was worse than that.  It was the one time in all my competitive pursuits (in athletics or in business) that I quit.  I’ve lost many times; won my share too; quit once.

I quit my high school football team two weeks into the start of my junior year season.  It was the only time in my life that my Mom told me I disappointed her.  I can remember going into the head coach’s office to quit as if it was yesterday.  A bit ironic I suppose, because after being a starter and co-captain my freshman and sophomore years, I was not even planning to play my junior year.  I planned to focus on basketball. 

The coach called and asked me to reconsider.  I agreed, but when I showed up I wasn’t prepared to give my best.  He and his coaches weren’t prepared to coach me up either.  At the age of sixteen, I decided that quitting was the only escape.  I’ve regretted it to this day.  It’s not the not-playing that I regret; it’s the not giving my best.

I bet there have been special coaches and mentors who have had a positive impact on your life.  Coaches come in all shapes and sizes and use a wide variety of styles and techniques.  Some coaches resonate with us; some don’t. 

Here’s a 6 minute video about a high school, an underdog team, and their coach’s expectation about giving our best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUKoKQlEC4

Probably not a technique that transfers into the business world today - but the message does, true?  Yes, the sporting world is different than the business world.  Nonetheless, we don’t have to go it alone.  Even the best-of-the-best have coaches.

In business, our favorite, Unknown Sage offers this:

Common misconceptions about coaching in the marketplace: 

“Coaching is primarily for correcting behavior” - If we only coach people when they do something wrong, we have missed the point.  It’s about building not fixing. 

“Coaching requires giving up power and control” – The manager relies more on influence. The person is still accountable. 

“Coaching takes too much time” – Coaching takes too much time if you don’t do enough of it and you don’t do it correctly.

“Coaching is soft stuff” – The manager who avoids soft stuff usually does so because it is so hard.  The work is easy; people are difficult. 

“Coaching is laissez-faire management” – Freedom in the workplace, actually just about anywhere, is rooted in strict discipline. 

“Coaching is simply being a good cheerleader” – A good manager has the courage and inner strength when needed to tell people the truth. 

“Coaching is like therapy” – To be a good manager and coach one does need a basic understanding of human behavior and motivation, but therapy has no place in your relationship with the people you are leading.

Coaches enjoy occasional accolades, too.  The best I ever heard was a tribute to Bum Phillips, head coach of the then, Houston Oilers.  It was once said of Bum:

He could take his and beat yours - and then he could take yours and beat his. 

As a coach, he was able to get his players to give their best; they had no quit.  Imagine – what could we accomplish today if we just committed to giving our best? 

GAP

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

Intensity …

A few years ago I participated in a week of sales training that included intensity – planned and unplanned.  It was during a time our company was re-organizing.  Re-orgs are intense, yes? 

That intensity helped set the stage for the training.  The trainers leveraged additional techniques including role plays (everybody’s favorite LoL!), shocking movie scenes, and blaring music to insure we paid attention and didn’t wander: 

My mind often wanders and sometimes leaves me all together. 

Unknown Sage 

The training was excellent.  More importantly, the leadership team succeeded in creating a safe environment enabling us to take our mind off of the re-org and practice new skills in front of our peers without fear of judgement: 

At 10,000 feet above sea level, there is a saying about the city of Leh in the Himalaya Mountains:  The passes are so high and the land is so barren, only a dear friend or serious enemy will reach here. 

Bryan Walsh 

All was going as planned until the last 15 minutes of the last day and a final moment of unplanned intensity.  Our VP asked for general feedback on the week and the group responded with unanimously positive responses.  She then asked for specific feedback on one particular session that I for one was negatively impacted by; shaken actually.  The room went quiet. 

I don’t think her choice to zero in about this one session was coincidental; I suspected she had suspicions.  She asked if it was “too much” – and a moment of intensity ensued. 

It’s hard to give negative feedback to your superiors, true?  It’s even harder in a group setting, among colleagues most of whom you have just met.  Fear during a re-org; worry over expressing yourself appropriately; concern over being misunderstood; all contribute to the intensity.  Peer pressure even for the most experienced can be intimidating: 

If you’re not part of the steamroller, you’re part of the road. 

Ed Lazowska 

Trustingly, I felt she was genuine in her desire to receive feedback.  I thought my new teammates would see I was a “dear friend” and not a “serious enemy” in trying to improve the training course. 

I took a deep breath; paused; thought about how to word my response; made eye contact; and then spoke up.  I was the only one to do so.  Intense. 

My response was – Yes; too much; and then I explained... 

I believe when conducting business-to-business training, we should avoid personal references to death; battlefield casualties; cancer; disabilities; mental illness; divorce; and sexual innuendo.  The trainers had woven all of these stimulants into the session in question to artificially increase the intensity. 

As trainers, we’re being watched.  We don’t know our audience personally.  In today’s day and age if we are not mindful, our audience can take things personally; be offended; shaken actually: 

Don’t wait for the last judgment.  It takes place every day. 

Albert Camus 

Coincidentally, the training in question occurred on the very morning of the Santa Fe Texas High School shooting.  Plenty of military style, references to killing dominated the news.   Coincidently, one of my colleagues told me that week he was going through a nasty, heart breaking divorce.  Coincidently, another colleague told me her best friend was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.  Coincidentally that very day was the birthday of one of the trainer’s sons who suffers from a devastating mental illness; bi-polar disorder.  My son. 

Life is intense enough – sales training doesn’t need to go there. 

GAP 

When life gets tough we could get a helmet… or… we could leverage the peace and share the power of a positive perspective.

How’s your day been?

Three years ago last Saturday, I was in an earthquake in Mexico City; a 7.1.  How do you work that into casual conversation?  

September 19, 2017 at 1:15 pm local time, a powerful earthquake shook the bejeezus out of my training class; our lunch break; my colleagues and me!  Thankfully, no one in our group got hurt. 

Unfortunately, there were many in Mexico City and surrounding states that did get hurt; over 200 people killed; hundreds perhaps thousands injured.  According to The Guardian ©; 

It was the second major earthquake to hit Mexico in two weeks and came on the anniversary of the 1985 quake that devastated Mexico City, killing 5,000 people and destroying 10,000 homes. 

In fact, because of that 32^nd anniversary; commemorating that devastation; we actually had an emergency evacuation drill at 11am in 2017.  Just about 2 hours before the real thing hit again! 

During the episode, I wasn’t afraid; but I was not brave either.  I was conscious of the fact we were experiencing an earthquake – on the 19^th floor of a hotel no less.  What started out feeling like a freight train passing by, causing the table to vibrate, quickly erupted into what seemed like a prolonged period of ferocious shaking; I could not keep my feet. 

Those much braver than I were calling out; directing us towards the archway leading into the room.  Firmly they instructed us to move away from the windows; calmly, they reassured us that we will be alright. 

I remember looking out the window and seeing the glass buildings across the plaza actually swaying.  It was surreal; it reminded me of that scene in movie The Matrix when the helicopter crash caused a ripple through the façade of a glass office tower. 

My overriding feeling today is one of disappointment.  So many had invested so much before the earthquake hit – and after.  Gustavo Moussalli, out Latin American Division Director and the executive sponsor for the class had made a huge commitment to his local partners; coordinating a 3-day enablement class to support their success.  

Gerardo Diez Martinez, our local Channel Manager made all the arrangements.  The meeting rooms and set-up; AV equipment; food and beverage; Gerardo spared no expense to insure we would have everything we needed for his partners. 

My colleague Susanna Lagtapon sacrificed time away from her daughter’s 13^th birthday; traveling instead to join us for the class.  Our colleague, Tony Caporal, with cooler head and bravery, prevailed following the earthquake.  He helped us retrieve our laptops and luggage.  (Even stopping at the lobby bar to grab a free beer on his way out of the hotel.) 

Our VP, Brian Enright, was our “home base”; coordinating flights out of town; hotel reservations; and anything else he could do to support us from afar. 

And especially Hector Garcia from our long-time partner NetSoft.  Hector insisted on personally driving us to the airport; would not hear of us taking a taxi or a bus.  He would navigate us through the city streets; on constant vigil for our safety.  Three hours to drive us 12 kilometers.  Three hours in the opposite direction from his own home and family – taking us in his care. 

As with all disasters, there were many heroes – named and unnamed.  But that was 2017; Mexico City; and an earthquake.  Today, it’s another crisis; another natural disaster; another conflict. 

We are all thankful for so many first responders and other heroes – named and unnamed.  May God bless them all. 

GAP 

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